Monthly Archives: March 2014

A Letter to the Lost Me

Posted in Christian, Relationships, Self Worth by

Dear Lost Me,

You are somebody. You have been hurt. You have been ridiculed. You have been mocked. You have been taken for granted. Your name has been drug through the mud, but you can overcome. You will overcome. Your worth isn’t in that man who says you think you’re too much. Truth is, you are too much. You are set at a price that he couldn’t afford so he would try to do anything to devalue u. You are worth far more than rubies, don’t let anyone tell you differently. You are worth more than that man who chokes you and makes you fear for your life. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve so much more. You are beautiful. Why do you think you’re not? Sure you’ve been used and abused but that doesn’t define you. You are a queen. Your worth isn’t found in those girls you thought were your friends. I know you let them into your world and you trusted them. They prayed against what you were praying for. Don’t let them hinder your ability to be a friend. They were really a wolf in sheep’s clothing, pretending to care. That’s not you though…don’t let that experience turn you into that. You are kind, caring and compassionate. You don’t have to be a tough girl all the time. Sure you’ve been used and abused but that doesn’t define you. You made the grades, you had the scholarships…but you still feel empty because you placed your value and your worth in that. Those things are great but that doesn’t define you. The clubbing and the alcohol don’t define you. You use it to escape from reality but when the buzz wears off and you wake up the next day and you’re back in reality, you still feel empty and broken. This is not your solution…Jesus is.

One day you will realize just how valuable you are because you will realize Whose you are and THAT defines you. You are the daughter of The King. You are to die for…Jesus showed you that 2,000+ years ago. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your past isn’t your future. Your past, your pain, your tears, your experiences will become your testimony and it will touch the lives of those around you. It will save people and bring them to Christ the same way your pain brought you to the feet of Jesus. See there is purpose in your pain. You won’t be down always. I know you’re feeling depressed right now and alone but I promise you this…you are not alone. You may feel lonely but Jesus is there. He is there to pull you out of that gruesome pit of depression that’s trying to pull you in deeper. He is there. Reach out to Him. Let Him save you. Surrender it all. When you do, I promise you will feel better. You will be able to smile again…I mean truly smile. You will radiate from a joy that comes from within. ImageAnd one day, at the right time, God will bring you someone who knows your worth and is willing the pay the price for you. One day you will be a wife and he will show you what God’s love looks like in a man. The enemy will try to make you think that this is too good to be true, but remember God says nothing is too good for you. Remember you deserve to be treated like the queen you are. You are worth so much more than you could ever imagine and this man will show you that because God first showed him. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life…He will heal you. He will make you new. Let Him. Don’t abort the process before you get to your promise. It will be hard. But it will be worth it. And one day you will sit back and say…”God You are so faithful. You turned my misery into ministry. You turned my pain into joy. There were times I had given up on myself but You never did. Thank You Lord.”

xoxo

An Improved Me

Knowing God vs. Knowing Of God

Posted in Uncategorized by

It is so easy for us to think we know someone based on what we’ve heard about them or learned about them through the experience’s of others, but we don’t really know them. We haven’t gotten to know them one on one. We haven’t built a relationship with them. Our friends or relatives might have a relationship with someone and they may share with us bits and pieces of that relationship but we don’t have a relationship of our own with that person. For example, I went to a rather large high school. We had around 1,000 people per graduating class. I did not know everyone. I knew of a lot of people just like a lot of people knew of me. On my track team alone, I didn’t really know everyone and I was captain. For college, I went to a smaller school. I knew everyone on my track team. I had a relationship with them all rather big or small…I knew them. I know some better than others because I spent more time with them, but I can say I know them all.  

A person who doesn’t know me but knew of me and was asked about me might respond and say something like “Oh yea, I’ve heard about her. She ran track right. She dated so & so and went to HBU right?” They are just saying things that they have heard about me from other people, where as a person who truly knows me would say something like “Oh yea Disa. That’s my girl. We talk/hang out all the time. The Lord has truly worked in her life…etc” They can say these things with confidence because they KNOW me. 

I feel like growing up and just living life, we hear people say “God is good.” We hear them say “God can make a way out of no way, He is the beginning and the end, alpha and omega.” We hear them say, “Jesus is real. He is good. He is redeemer. He is savior” And then we just go on and repeat these things because that is what we have heard others say, but we haven’t experienced His goodness for ourselves. We don’t know Him as our redeemer, our healer, our savior. 

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Jesus wants you to know Him. He wants you to have a deep, intimate relationship with you. He wants you to experience Him for yourself. I can blog, tweet, Facebook, and Instagram about how good the Lord is but that won’t save you. When you encounter Jesus for yourself, you won’t leave the same. You won’t be the same. I remember my mom always talking about how good God is but I never really understood it until I experienced His goodness for myself. Until I got to know Him. Now I don’t just know of God, I actually KNOW Him! I have my own relationship with Him. Through Jesus, I know Him as my friend, my redeemer, my healer, my savior, my comforter. He is my way maker, my door opener (and closer). He is my Lord! 

ImageHow do we get to know God and build a relationship with Him:

  1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior! “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your hear that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” – Romans 10:9. In order to begin to have a relationship with God, we have to be saved. The only way to get to The Father is Through Jesus.  “Jesus told Him: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” – John 14:6. Once you truly accept Him as Lord of your life, you will begin to see a change in yourself. You will begin to start looking more like Him. The process isn’t always going to be easy, and it will sometimes hurt, but it is all for your good and it will be well worth it.  
  2. Pray Often: Prayer is how we communicate with God. The Bible says to “Pray continually” in 1 Thessalonians. Praying doesn’t have to be so elaborate and complicated. Talk to God just like you would talk to a confidant here on earth. Tell him your hurts. Tell him how you feel. He wants to know the depths of your soul. Yes, He is all knowing so even if you don’t tell Him, He knows but He wants to know that you trust Him. He wants you to humble yourself and admit that you can’t do this thing called life without Him. He wants you to come to Him. He says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28)
  3. Read His Word: The Bible is God speaking to us. He gives us instruction and wisdom in His Word. It is living. It is relevant in today’s world. It shows His heart. It shows His plans. It shows Him. We can’t truly know God is we don’t know His word.The great thing about God is He is always there when we need him. He doesn’t ignore our text messages, he doesn’t forward our calls to voicemail. He is there in our time of need. He gives us thousands of promises in the Bible. But we must read it in order to know what they are. And the good thing about those promises and His word is that it never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

I pray that today you begin to know Christ for yourself and not through the experiences of others. I found God and began to really know Him at my lowest point. He saved me from depression, feelings of worthlessness, and so many other things. I know God as my healer because I have experienced it. I know Him as my redeemer because He redeemed me. I know Him as my savior because He died for me 2,000+ years ago and died on a cross for me so that I might have eternal life in heaven but also because there are times I could have died, times I shouldn’t have made it…yet He saved me! 

My prayer is that you begin to know God for yourself. Just like you spend time getting to know someone new, spend time with God. He wants to know the ins and outs of you. We will spend all day on the phone getting to know our newest crush but can’t spend 30 minutes with God. He wants a relationship with you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced. I can promise you that! 

Jesus loves you.

I love you.

xoxo Disa B.