Category Archives: pregnancy

A Woman Empowered: Danika’s Birth Story

Posted in Christian, fertility, Marriage, maternity, pregnancy by

When I gave birth to my son, I planned on doing it medication free and having a wonderful natural delivery. That was not the case. I blogged about it here. I knew that whenever I had my next child, I wanted a better experience. I would be better prepared. I’d be more confident and be in charge of my birth experience…not the nurses or my doctor. I prayed that God would allow me to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and He did!

When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately started researching doctors that would attempt VBACs. Apparently a lot of doctors won’t do it due to a small risk factor where there is a small percent chance that your uterus could rupture. But there are risks in repeat cesareans as well so I didn’t let that scare me. After researching & researching, I found my doctor and I’m so glad I chose her! I originally chose another doctor but wasn’t going to be able to be seen by that doctor for a long time because all appointments were booked (Thanks to all these hurricane babies people were popping up pregnant with 😂) so I chose another doctor instead who turned out to be the right choice for me! God is always working!

So after meeting with my doctor and telling her my plan of VBAC and her reviewing my history and my cesearean operative report, she said she thinks I’m a perfect candidate! That was music to my ears! So from that moment on, I started my game plan. My husband and I prepped and prepared and studied and were on the same page about what I wanted. He was my daddy Doula and we were going to conquer this thing to have the birth experience I wanted.

So fast forward to my labor:

My early labor lasted a long time. I went in for my 37 week checkup on July 19th (I was 37 weeks 2 days). She checked my cervix and I was 3cm dilated, over 50% effaced and Baby girl was in +2 position. My doctor was so surprised with my progress and knew I wouldnt make it to my due date of August 7. I left there feeling excited and anxious. My mom had gotten in town the Friday before and came to the appointment with me. She was just as ready as me to have the baby, but i didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was 3 cm dilated with my son for 3 weeks before he came, so I tried not to think about it.

That Saturday (7/21) and Sunday (7/22), I started having Braxton Hicks contractions but they were a little strong but irregular so I knew something was changing. I was hydrated and I hadnt had any leading up to this point. I figured my early labor had officially begun. I had a Skype call on Monday for work (7/23) where I was leading the call and told them, I’ll probably have a baby today or tomorrow. I just felt different. That night, the Braxton Hicks started feeling stronger and were coming closer together trying to create a pattern. At that point, I told my husband to come home from work because I think tonight is the night and since he is my Doula, I need him with me. He came home, showered and was there being my support. I told him that we should head to the hospital. We did. IMG_7362Once we got in triage, I was still only 3cm dilated and my contractions kept dying off. They suggested we walk. So we did that twice! Walked for 2 hours, 2 different times and I still wasn’t progressing. We decided to go home. It was about 5am on 7/24 at this point, and I was feeling defeated. I had made my husband leave work early and the baby isn’t even here. I just knew she was coming. My husband was so encouraging and told me not to feel defeated (I never told him how I was feeling but I did start crying) and that it was all going to be fine.

So we get home and I go to sleep, it felt like as soon as I fell asleep, I was awoken by some crazy contractions. This was around 7am. At this point I knew, this is real and I’m forreal in labor because nothing was helping the pain. I got up and went to the toilet. It felt better to labor there. Then that stopped working. I got up and walked around, leaned on chairs and the wall and things in the closet. Then my daddy Doula suggested laboring in the bath tub, and I’m so glad he did. I labored in there for a while. Then my husband said, it’s time to go back to the hospital. It took me like an hour and a half to get dressed because I kept stopping at each contraction due to the pain. I also tried to eat something as well because I knew I’d need that fuel. So around 10:30am we were off to the hospital!

The drive was brutal. Contractions in the car with bumps and stops etc. are no bueno. But we finally made it to the hospital! When we made it to triage this time, I was immediately checked and to my relief I was 6cm dilated. I was in so much pain. I immediately said (well loudly proclaimed), “I NEED the epidural! Can I get it now?” The nurse responded that once I get a room in labor and delivery and they monitor me and the anesthesiologist is able to come to my room, I will be able to get the epidural. In my head, I am thinking that the baby will be here by then! I could tell they were rushing to get me down to labor and delivery. At this point, I am losing it. I am not staying on top of my contractions and being calm. I am drowning in them and losing control. My husband is calmly telling me to breathe and telling me I can do this while I am telling him that I can’t. I finally make it to L&D and the anesthesiologist comes not too long after.

Intially, I was not going to get an epidural at all, but 2 things changed for me. One was the pain, I was not able to regain control and I had lost it. I was crying and just a wreck. The second thing was that since I was attempting a VBAC, the nurses let me know that in the event I did have to have a c-section and didn’t have an epidural already, I would be put to sleep during the procedure. That was something I did not want at all. So I made it to 7/8 cm without the epidural and I was darn proud of myself for that and was ready to get the epidural. The doctor said it would take 20 minutes for it to take effect. I immediately thought “well what the heck is the point?! I need it now!” So like I said, my game plan going in was to never get the epidural to begin with and God remembered that so even after the 20 minute wait, He didn’t allow it to take full effect but allowed me to have it for my peace of mind in the event of an emergency c-section. So, I could still feel every contraction and the pressure was intense! My doctor came to check me and said “We’ll be ready to push in about 30 minutes” She came in not even 5 minutes later and said “Lets have this baby!” I couldn’t believe it was happening so quickly. I don’t know how many pushes I did, all I know is that my baby had developed a heart arrhythmia at some point during labor so they wanted her out quick. They used forceps during 2 of my pushes and I made them stop. It hurt so bad, and I was unable to focus on pushing. I looked my doctor square in the eyes and said “Take them out! I am not pushing with them in.” And she obliged. I said, “I will get her out quickly. I got this!”

It was at this point that I took control. Like I said, I could feel each contraction still. The pressure was intense. I stopped taking breaks in between pushing because my baby needed me. I just closed my eyes and treated it like track practice on the last rep….get to the finish line as fast as possible. And at 1:57pm on July 24, 2018 my princess was born! Of course I cried! She looked just like her big brother.

I felt like superwoman after. I felt like I could conquer anything and I still feel that way. IMG_7361Although the birth wasn’t complication free, it was better than a c-section and I had a successful VBAC! I was elated and grateful. I am grateful that God gave me my hearts desire to push out this baby girl.

So if you are giving birth soon, here is my advice to you:

  • Own your labor! It is your body. If you don’t like something, speak up. Don’t think you have to do whatever it is they are suggesting. You are paying them.
  • Create a plan but be flexible in case complications arise
  • Submit that plan to God. Pray about it. Be honest with Him about your desires and your “why”
  • Be confident! Growing a child then giving birth, no matter the method, is empowering.

You got this mamas & future mamas!

xoxo
Disa B.

Welcome our sweet baby girl: Danika Badillo

IMG_7533
IMG_7527

Faith Over Fear

Posted in Christian, pregnancy by

spiritoffear

Can I be honest with you all? I have been struggling a lot with fear lately. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been the scripture I have been holding on to. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This provides comfort to me. From the recent shootings and terror attacks to old friends dying in car accidents, fear has been tormenting me. Can I not go to the movies, go to church, drive down the street, or hop on an airplane without a high probability of dying?

From the looks of my social media accounts, I am not the only one who is struggling with fear. In my quiet time with the Lord, He reminded me that this type of fear does not come from Him. The enemy wants us to be fearful to live the life God has planned for us. If we are too afraid to drive down the street or hop on a plane, we won’t be effective spreading the Gospel. If we are afraid that a madman may shoot up our churches, we won’t go. The enemy is using fear to prevent Kingdom business from being done.

The Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). We can overcome fear by taking it to the feet of Jesus and by telling others about what we went through and how we overcame. Oftentimes, we feel ashamed or feel like we shouldn’t share certain things, but the Bible is clear. We have to share our testimonies in order to truly overcome.

So here is a list of few things that have almost crippled me with fear.

  • Pregnancy: Most of you do not know this, but I was told I had abnormal cells in my cervix that looked like cancer and they were growing fast. I had surgery to remove the portion of my cervix that was affected by these cells during the first year of my marriage and everything is great now, but after surgery, my doctor informed me that I may not be able to carry full term because my cervix could open any time because it is weaker now. He also let me know that I will probably never be able to have a vaginal birth. Being pregnant now, of course this is always on my mind. but I have to trust God. No matter what I feel, I know HE is in control. His plans are perfect.
  • Raising a black child in this world: With there seeming to be more and more innocent black people being killed at the hands of cops who are supposed to protect and serve, I am fearful of my child being caught up into something crazy just because the color of his skin. I am fearful of getting a phone call saying that my child died at the hands of a police officer because they “thought” he had a weapon, but he only had a pencil or some candy.
  • Having a husband who is a Police Officer: On the flip side of the bullet point above, my husband is in the final stretch of training to become a police officer. With so many people hating cops and thinking all cops are bad or crooked, I fear for his life. I am scared that some crazy person will kill him just because of his uniform. I lose sleep some nights over this.

These are real fears for me, but when I remember that this world is not my home…that I am only here for a little while, all fear goes out the window. I may have plans and dreams of growing old with my husband, but what if God doesn’t? Do I trust Him any less? Does it make Him a bad Father? I don’t think so. The Bible says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14). When we remember the real reason we are here, to spread the Gospel & save souls, fear has to go out the window. When we cast our cares upon the Lord, we can’t continue to hold on to the fear. We have to trust God no matter what.

With that being said, if you are reading this and you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior of your life, today is the day. Tomorrow is not promised. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9). That’s all it takes. You don’t have to get right first. God makes you right. You don’t have to wait until Sunday morning worship, you may not make it to see Sunday. Your time is right now. Don’t let another day pass you by without making this decision.

My biggest fear is not sharing the Gospel, but keeping the Good News to myself, while people die and go to hell. Choosing Jesus was the best decision I ever made. I can’t force you to choose Him just as He doesn’t force you to choose Him, but I promise you won’t regret it if you do.

Fear tries to overtake your faith. Don’t let it. If you are currently struggling with fear, take it to Jesus. He can and will help you overcome. Trust Him. Faith > Fear.

xoxo
Disa B.

My Journey to Pregnancy

Posted in Christian, fertility, maternity, pregnancy by

Bible-Verses-For-Birth-Announcements

Today I am 5 months pregnant. I reached the halfway, 20 week, mark on Friday (May 27th). So far, my pregnancy has been pretty smooth. My baby boy has treated his mama well minus a few aches and pains. But my journey to conceiving wasn’t as easy or simple. I am sure many moms or those currently trying to conceive can relate.

My husband and I wed on December 14, 2013. You can check out our wedding highlight video here. We knew we wanted to wait at least one year before having children, so in February of 2015 (a couple of months after our 1 year anniversary) I stopped taking my birth control to start the process. I knew it would take a few months for my body to regulate without the artificial hormones. I had been on birth control for years due to horrible cramps. But months later, my cycles were super irregular. I was concerned and worried. Did birth control damage me? Will I ever be able to conceive? These were the types of questions running through my mind.

During this time, I was constantly being asked when we were going to have kids, especially since we bought a house. Everyone was telling us we needed to hurry and fill it up with children. This only made it worse. Why was everyone so concerned about us starting a family. Then we found out my sister-in-law (I just call her my sister) was pregnant. I never admitted it, but I was envious. She hadn’t been trying. Why was she able to conceive and not me? The enemy was really toying with my mind.

After a while, I stopped caring. I told God, its cool. I don’t need a child right now anyway. I have weddings and events coming up. It will just slow me down and I don’t want to turn anyone away who wants to book me. But deep down, I was still worrying. I’m clearly a planner by nature, so I downloaded all these fertility tracking apps and became obsessed. Mind you my cycles were very irregular. It would be 28 days then 35 days then 42 days then 30 days. There was no way to track my ovulation.

Fast forward to September of 2015. I stated earlier that I am an event planner. I met a bride to be and we immediately clicked. Her wedding was scheduled for a Sunday in October of 2016. The day we were scheduled to meet so she could sign the contract, she called and told me she hired someone else. I was sad because I had really worked this client and I felt like our personalities really clicked (that is important when working closely with clients on the most important day of their lives). So, I talked to God about it. He said, “I blocked you from getting her business because you will be giving birth in October 2016.” Hold on now God, I will be doing what in October? How? I’m barely ovulating. But I believed Him because He has never let me down before. I told my husband what happened and he told me to stop stressing because God has us. A week or so later, a friend of mine, who happens to be a prophetess, text me saying she had a dream I was pregnant and that it will be happening soon. God was sending messages to me left and right, but deep down, I was still trying to control the situation.

December comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. January comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. February comes…I felt the Lord tell me to take a test. I’m like nah, I just took one like a week or so ago. It was negative. He was like take the test Disa (lol). This happened February 8th to be exact. I had one test left. I wasn’t planning on buying anymore because I had already wasted enough money. So, I took the test. I waited. I casually looked down anticipating only 1 line (negative test) but I saw 2 lines (positive). I was in utter shock. I couldn’t believe it. I ran into the room where my husband was and I couldn’t even say it. I just said, “look at this!” His response was, does this mean we’re pregnant?” I nodded and he just hugged me.

I went to the doctor a few days later to confirm it and to have her date the pregnancy. She said you are DEFINITELY pregnant. When she did the ultrasound, she dated my due date to be October 14, 2016. God told me in September of 2015 that I would be giving birth in October of 2016. God still works miracles. The journey was tough. I almost let my doubts interfere with God’s promises. My husband trusted God all along with no doubts, no fears…he just trusted. Even in my disbelief and even with my doubts, God still fulfilled His promise to me. My husband stayed faithful through it all and never doubted one time. I believe it’s because of his belief and faith that the Lord delivered.

13254533_10208411869507978_1361467173572731856_n

If you are on your journey to conception, trust God. Delight in Him. Give Him your worries, anxieties, fears, and doubts. Whether it is His will for you to conceive or not, trust Him. He is working on your behalf.

When I think about the timing of so many things that have happened in my life…God’s timing is truly perfect! Certain may have not happened according to my plans but His plans are always best and always better than what I had in mind!

If you’re waiting on something and it not happening the way you want it to, REST. Trust God. His timing is perfect. His plans are to provide you a future & a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

xoxo

Disa B.
13267812_10208382119884256_6292180604297152244_n