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Why I Needed a Break…My Hiatus Explained

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Hi Beautiful!

If you didn’t already know, I took a break from writing/blogging for almost a year. I felt like it was something I needed to do. The Lord has been placing it on my heart to write again & my husband has also been encouraging me, but I have been fighting it. It’s definitely a battle between my flesh &  spirit. But here I am, my flesh lost.

So why was it such a battle? Why did I take a break? Why am I back now? Well these are questions I plan on answering with this post.

I have always loved to write. Blogging helped me overcome some of my own personal struggles & has helped others as well. I always felt like God wanted me to write for a reason. I never cared how big of an audience I reached, I just wanted to do my Father’s business & if only one life was changed in the process, I was happy with that. I still am happy with that.

This time last year, I was writing on this blog & for Marriedandyoung.com (definitely check out that site. It is a great resource for those who are married, engaged, or single). I felt like God was really opening up doors for me that I wasn’t even looking for. I was newly married & was writing about things that I learned along the way, things that I felt would help others who are married, engaged, or single. I was really on fire for Christ. But that started to fizzle out for me. I started to get attacked heavily. It seemed like I would get attacked on the very issue that I had just blogged about as soon as it was published.

I was writing about how to be a good wife/spouse & I was failing at it. I was providing all this wisdom for people to apply, but I couldn’t apply it myself. I felt like a failure, so I quit. I gave in. I told everyone else, that my schedule had just gotten too busy to be able to blog regularly, but truth be told, I was afraid. I was tired of failing these tests & getting attacked by the enemy, so I threw in the towel. I did exactly what the enemy wanted me to do. I began to resent God. I didn’t understand why He would increase my territory, my audience, just so I could fail. I didn’t see why He would provide me with so much insight & wisdom but not allow me to apply it myself. I blamed God. I withdrew from Him because I felt like I failed Him.

At the time, I felt like I had no one to turn to or talk to, not even God. After all, I am blogging about being a great spouse & how to have a great marriage, but I felt like I was not living up to this perfect standard that I had created in my head or that people had created for me. I felt like a fake, a hypocrite. I didn’t feel worthy to write anymore. I felt ashamed & alone. So I stopped. I never gave it much thought. I never thought I would want to write again. I was okay with not writing again. But as I opened up to those around me, my walls began to fall. My shame began to disappear. My relationship with Christ began to grow again. I realized, it wasn’t Him. It was ME.

I allowed the enemy to win. I KNEW the attacks were going to come, but I did nothing to prepare. I gave in every time. I didn’t want to take responsibility, but I do now. God revealed to me that He has a purpose for everything I’ve gone through, even the things I brought upon myself. He reassured me that I am built for this. That He didn’t bring me this far to leave. He reminded me that I am more than a conqueror & that with Him all things are possible. I was reminded to lean on His strength instead of my own.

I still don’t feel qualified to write or give advice or provide godly wisdom & encouragement, but I am reminded that God qualifies those He calls. Ester wasn’t qualified. Ruth wasn’t qualified. But they both did a mighty work for the Lord. I know I can too & so can you.

Whatever that “thing” is that you feel God is calling you to do that you don’t feel quite adequate or ready to do, remember that on your own, you probably aren’t, but with Him you can accomplish & do anything that He has called you to do. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope.

Be encouraged 🙂

xoxo

Disa B.

Defeating Discouragement

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I am so excited. My husband has decided to be a guest writer on my blog! I recently wrote a post called “Feeling Discouraged” that not only encouraged me, but it encouraged him as well. I am so excited to share with you his perspective on discouragement. I pray it blesses you. It blessed me. God’s plan for your life is not for you to be constantly discouraged but to be encouraged. Cast down all those discouraging thoughts and feelings and make them be obedient to God’s Word! Enjoy the post below from my amazing husband! 

xoxo Disa B.

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At some point in our lives we have all dealt with the feeling of discouragement. Whether it’s not making the team, not getting the job, getting turned down for a date, etc. we all have experienced moments that just did not turn out the way we had planned or hoped for. Our initial reaction in these situations is to feel discouraged. Discouragement then affects our confidence and we may begin to doubt ourselves. This is devastating to us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s at these moments that we leave ourselves vulnerable to the enemy because instead of exercising our faith and falling back on God’s promises for us, we tend to distance ourselves from God. We start pointing the finger at God and trying to take matters into our own hands. However, we are reminded in Proverbs 3:5-6 that we must “Trust in the Lord with all of [our] heart” and not to “depend on [our] own understanding.” Clearly put, we must trust God and know that He has a purpose for those moments instead of trying to make sense of everything.

So how does God feel about discouragement? Quite simply, He strongly opposes it. He commands us in Joshua 1:9 to “be strong and courageous!” And “not to be afraid or discouraged.” God did not make a request or give us an option, He clearly COMMANDED us to be strong and courageous. The verse ends with “For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” So going back to the moment we experienced that led to our discouragement, we can be reminded that God is with us regardless of the circumstances and we must continue to trust Him in those trying times. In those moments that we are filled with discouragement, we can look in the Bible as it is filled with verses that are encouraging and good for us. One is Deuteronomy 31:8 where Moses tells Joshua not to “be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

When going through a hard time don’t we usually feel comforted when our friends and family give us those pep talks? “Hey, it is going to be alright.” “There are other fish in the sea.” “There are bigger and better things for you.” We hear these all the time and eventually, over time, we start to feel better, and we do believe it.  We should find comfort in knowing that God is with us, and above all, we must trust Him. He is making a way, and we must be patient and not try to understand it all. Just trust that God has something better in store for us. Again, the Bible is filled with encouragement and it is important for us to inscribe the Word in our hearts. We become vulnerable when discouraged, and the Word of God is our weapon in this spiritual warfare against the enemy.

So, the next time discouragement finds its way into your life, remember that God commands us to be strong and courageous, to trust in Him and not to depend on our own understanding. God has a plan and a purpose and we have to let Him do His work. We can take that time to prepare for what God has in store for us and find peace in knowing that God is with us.

 

God Bless,

Darien B.

Feeling Discouraged?

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I know often times in life things don’t work out exactly how we wanted them to; our plans don’t pan out the way we expected. In those times, it is easy to get discouraged and easy to give up, but I want to urge you to not give up. Disappointment does not equal failure. Hearing a “no” does not mean you will never hear “yes”. If you give up now, you forfeit your promise. The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants to steal your joy and your hope. He wants to kill your dreams and passions. He wants to destroy the purpose God has for you. The enemy wants nothing more than to see you discouraged. To discourage means to dissuade or hinder; to deprive courage or confidence.  The enemy wants to take away your confidence in your purpose. He doesn’t want to see you fulfill the things God has destined for you. Just as he met Jesus in the wilderness to try to persuade Jesus that He didn’t need to fulfill the will of God after Jesus fasted for 40 days, the enemy wants to persuade you to not fulfill the will of God as well. He doesn’t want you to reach your promise land. He wants you to see closed doors as missed opportunities, not as provisions of God. He wants you to think you aren’t good enough, like you can’t fulfill your purpose, and that you don’t have the experience or resources needed to succeed. He will do anything to get you to quit. Discouragement is one of his tactics to get you to quit and unfortunately, a lot of us fall for it. But the good news is, we don’t have to.

discouragedJust as Jesus overcame the enemy’s tactics, so can we. All we have to do is fight back with the Word of God. That means we must first KNOW the Word and have it in our hearts. I would encourage you to memorize, study, and meditate on Scripture. It is the sword we use to fight back the enemy.

Knowing the Word of God also helps strengthen our faith and our confidence. There are thousands of promises in the Bible that still stand for us today and the Word of the Lord does not return void. If we remember these promises, we won’t believe the lies of the enemy when he tries to discourage us. God has promised you a future and a hope. His plans for you are good and not harmful. Don’t let your faith waiver because of your circumstances. Stand firm on the Word of God. Fight the enemy back. You already have the victory. You just have to believe it!

I pray this encouraged you. When you feel discouraged, pray. If you don’t know the words to say, just say Jesus. He will give you peace. He is the ultimate encourager. He will lift you up.

 

xoxo Disa B.

Knowing God vs. Knowing Of God

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It is so easy for us to think we know someone based on what we’ve heard about them or learned about them through the experience’s of others, but we don’t really know them. We haven’t gotten to know them one on one. We haven’t built a relationship with them. Our friends or relatives might have a relationship with someone and they may share with us bits and pieces of that relationship but we don’t have a relationship of our own with that person. For example, I went to a rather large high school. We had around 1,000 people per graduating class. I did not know everyone. I knew of a lot of people just like a lot of people knew of me. On my track team alone, I didn’t really know everyone and I was captain. For college, I went to a smaller school. I knew everyone on my track team. I had a relationship with them all rather big or small…I knew them. I know some better than others because I spent more time with them, but I can say I know them all.  

A person who doesn’t know me but knew of me and was asked about me might respond and say something like “Oh yea, I’ve heard about her. She ran track right. She dated so & so and went to HBU right?” They are just saying things that they have heard about me from other people, where as a person who truly knows me would say something like “Oh yea Disa. That’s my girl. We talk/hang out all the time. The Lord has truly worked in her life…etc” They can say these things with confidence because they KNOW me. 

I feel like growing up and just living life, we hear people say “God is good.” We hear them say “God can make a way out of no way, He is the beginning and the end, alpha and omega.” We hear them say, “Jesus is real. He is good. He is redeemer. He is savior” And then we just go on and repeat these things because that is what we have heard others say, but we haven’t experienced His goodness for ourselves. We don’t know Him as our redeemer, our healer, our savior. 

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Jesus wants you to know Him. He wants you to have a deep, intimate relationship with you. He wants you to experience Him for yourself. I can blog, tweet, Facebook, and Instagram about how good the Lord is but that won’t save you. When you encounter Jesus for yourself, you won’t leave the same. You won’t be the same. I remember my mom always talking about how good God is but I never really understood it until I experienced His goodness for myself. Until I got to know Him. Now I don’t just know of God, I actually KNOW Him! I have my own relationship with Him. Through Jesus, I know Him as my friend, my redeemer, my healer, my savior, my comforter. He is my way maker, my door opener (and closer). He is my Lord! 

ImageHow do we get to know God and build a relationship with Him:

  1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior! “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your hear that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” – Romans 10:9. In order to begin to have a relationship with God, we have to be saved. The only way to get to The Father is Through Jesus.  “Jesus told Him: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” – John 14:6. Once you truly accept Him as Lord of your life, you will begin to see a change in yourself. You will begin to start looking more like Him. The process isn’t always going to be easy, and it will sometimes hurt, but it is all for your good and it will be well worth it.  
  2. Pray Often: Prayer is how we communicate with God. The Bible says to “Pray continually” in 1 Thessalonians. Praying doesn’t have to be so elaborate and complicated. Talk to God just like you would talk to a confidant here on earth. Tell him your hurts. Tell him how you feel. He wants to know the depths of your soul. Yes, He is all knowing so even if you don’t tell Him, He knows but He wants to know that you trust Him. He wants you to humble yourself and admit that you can’t do this thing called life without Him. He wants you to come to Him. He says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28)
  3. Read His Word: The Bible is God speaking to us. He gives us instruction and wisdom in His Word. It is living. It is relevant in today’s world. It shows His heart. It shows His plans. It shows Him. We can’t truly know God is we don’t know His word.The great thing about God is He is always there when we need him. He doesn’t ignore our text messages, he doesn’t forward our calls to voicemail. He is there in our time of need. He gives us thousands of promises in the Bible. But we must read it in order to know what they are. And the good thing about those promises and His word is that it never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

I pray that today you begin to know Christ for yourself and not through the experiences of others. I found God and began to really know Him at my lowest point. He saved me from depression, feelings of worthlessness, and so many other things. I know God as my healer because I have experienced it. I know Him as my redeemer because He redeemed me. I know Him as my savior because He died for me 2,000+ years ago and died on a cross for me so that I might have eternal life in heaven but also because there are times I could have died, times I shouldn’t have made it…yet He saved me! 

My prayer is that you begin to know God for yourself. Just like you spend time getting to know someone new, spend time with God. He wants to know the ins and outs of you. We will spend all day on the phone getting to know our newest crush but can’t spend 30 minutes with God. He wants a relationship with you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced. I can promise you that! 

Jesus loves you.

I love you.

xoxo Disa B.

Wife After God Review/Recap

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My number 1 goal for this year is to spend time with God everyday and to deepen my relationship with Him. I believe in doing so, I will then draw closer to my husband and be able to be the wife God has called me to be.

ImageI started this year off doing the Wife After God 30 day devotional. This devotional helped me understand how to be the wife God has called me to be. I already knew what he called me to do as a wife, but there were some areas where I struggled with the “how”. How do I be submissive even if I feel my way is better? How do I stay peaceful and patient when he is working my last nerve? How Lord? How?! I will be married for 2 months on February 14. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. I love being a newlywed. We haven’t struggled with a lot of major things since becoming married, but I am a studier. I am a researcher. I want to be prepared when the storms do hit. I live in Houston and when its hurricane season, we are prepared. I feel that is how marriage should be handled. We don’t need to wait for the storm to get here to prepare…it’s often to late at that point. We must prepare in advance. I could write a whole nother blog about that and I might at some point, but this blog is about my Wife After God 30 day devotional journey.

Prior to getting married, Darien (my husband) and I took a marriage class. It was a class for engaged couples and married couples to make a good marriage/relationship great or a bad marriage/relationship good. I am happy we took the class prior to getting married instead of waiting 5 years when things are going horrible to take the class. That class showed us how to communicate. It showed us how to be on the same team and not be enemies. It showed us so many things that I think we will keep with us forever. While going through the Wife After God devotional, I noticed a lot of similarities between what I learned in our marriage class and what I was learning in the devotional. This devotional was such a great reminder.

Each day in the devotional, there are scriptures to read, a story relating to the scriptures and to marriage and a challenge. There were also journal questions to answer at the end of each day. I absolutely loved that it was interactive and that it allowed God to show me what I needed to work on. This devotional touched on real issues that marriages face daily. It talked about intimacy, and the parts of marriage, praying for your marriage, praying for your husband, praying for yourself, God’s purpose for marriage, and so much more. I would totally recommend this to those who are engaged, happily married, married, divorced, or separated. I promise it won’t disappoint. We often want to blame others for the wrongs that happen in our lives and we often want to blame our spouse for the wrong that has happened in our marriage. This devotional makes you look within and see what it is you can do to change and what you can do to make your marriage better.

While doing this devotional, the author (Jennifer Smith) and tons of other women were doing it at the same time. Jennifer, who is also the founder of UnveiledWife.com, setup a Facebook group for everyone who was interested in doing the devotional and would post questions and youtube videos explaining each devotional each day. The women in this group were so transparent. My heart broke for some marriages and my heart celebrated with other marriages when they triumphed and made breakthroughs in their marriage. I would definitely suggest doing this devotional with other women and discussing the content with them and hold each other accountable.

Now, my favorite part of the devotional was the last day. The final challenge is to write a love letter to your husband or if you aren’t married, to your future husband. Men need affirmation…we all do but men especially. We tend to tell them everything they do wrong and everything they need to work on, but we don’t tell them as often as we should how appreciated they are and how loved they are and how wonderful they are. In the letter, you can spill it all out and make it as creative as you want it to be, as romantic as you want it to be, as quirky as you want it to be….you get to make it your own. This is something I challenge everyone to do. If you are a man, write a letter to your wife or future wife. If you are a woman, write a letter to your husband or future husband. Valentine’s Day is coming up…I am sure that would be a great gift or addition to a gift for your significant other.

This devotional can be bought on Amazon as a paperback or you can purchase the Kindle version. I highly recommend it!

xoxo

Disa Badillo

Seasons of Life

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Happy New Year! I pray your 2014 is off to a fabulous start.

I wanted my first post of this new year to reflect my 2013 and what I’m expecting for 2014. Each year, there are 4 different seasons where the weather changes. We have summer, fall, winter, and spring. When the leaves begin to fall, we know fall is coming. When it begins to get darker earlier, we know winter is on the horizon. When the flowers begin to bloom, we smell spring blossoming. When the days are longer and the nights are shorter, we know summer is here.

ImageWell, just like there are earthly seasons, there are also spiritual seasons and seasons of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 talks about these seasons by stating, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

In life, we all go through different seasons. Some of them we wish would last longer than others and some we wish we never had to experience. Each season we go through provides us with wisdom and growth. Each season prepares us for the next season just like fall prepares us for winter and spring prepares us for summer. Its easy to want to about the process, but if we don’t go through the process, how can we expect to get to the promise?

In 2013, I experienced many seasons, some were great and I loved them. Some hurt and I couldn’t wait to be out of those seasons. What I’ve learned about life and God is to be content with where you are right now…not complacent but content. Being ungrateful and discontent and complaining every 5 seconds isn’t going to make it go away any faster…it might actually prolong the process. God knows where you need to be RIGHT NOW. He knows what you need to go through to get to the other side. The hardest season I faced in 2013 was my engaged season. I just wanted to be married already. I became envious of other people’s marriages. I wanted what they have. But I am not her and my husband isn’t him. If I kept comparing us to them, I would never be happy. I would never be satisfied because we aren’t them. If I focused on someone else’s marriage, I would miss the beauty of my own.

My husband and I took a marriage course prior to tying the knot and the class was amazing, but some aspects hurt. It forced me to look at me and make changes to me. God showed me where I fell short and He was chiseling away my selfish ways and desires. He showed me that if I didn’t go through this process my marriage would fail. That’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good. There were days I just wanted to quit. I just wanted to give up because I resisted the change. It didn’t feel good for God to point out my imperfections and chisel them away so I could look more like Christ. God kept telling me, “Don’t abort the process. Don’t abort the process. Look at how far you’ve come. I am your strength you can do this. Its raining right now but the sunshine and rainbows are on the horizon if you just don’t quit.”

ImageLet me tell you, I am so happy I didn’t quit. I am happy I didn’t abort the process. It was HARD! But it was WORTH IT! If I were to get married without God showing me my imperfections and changing me, we probably wouldn’t have made it very far…we probably wouldn’t have made it to the alter. Now, I have faith that we can and we will make it. And I am loving my newlywed season. Everyday isn’t sunshine because the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy my marriage, but now I am able to fight back. Now its not all about me. I am now apart of a team. If I would have aborted that process I went through during my engaged season, my selfish ways would run me. My emotions would control me. Now I can control them.

Its so easy to compare ourselves and our lives to others but as soon as we do that we begin to feel inadequate, jealous and discontent. Just because one thing worked for him/her/them doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone is called to do the same thing. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and on your portion and you will be content. Always strive for greater but be content with where you are now. How can God bless you any more if you aren’t grateful for what He’s given you thus far? No matter what season you’re in, there is purpose there. Don’t waste this season just because you’d rather be in a different season. God knows best. Trust Him. He loves you.

 

xoxo Disa Badillo

Grace

Grace

^^Click the link above^^

This video is such a great depiction of God’s grace towards us. As humans, it’s often hard for us to fathom how a perfect God can forgive us and show us grace and mercy when it’s so hard for us to show others that same grace and mercy. It’s such a great feeling to know that we serve a God who loves us unconditionally: a God who graces us when we make mistakes: A God who is with us always. We just have to love Him, trust Him, and walk with Him thru Christ Jesus.

Nothing Wrong With a Little Transparency

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I am a firm believer in being transparent while on this Christian journey. People are often scared to speak about issues they are facing because they feel alone and like no one else is going through what they are going through because we try to come off all perfect. Well let me tell you, I am FAR from perfect. I fail daily. There are days where I let my emotions get the best of me. There are days where I look at the world and am tempted to go back to that lifestyle because it looks fun. There are days when I just want to be selfish and care about no one else but me. I promise that whatever issue you are facing, you are NOT alone. There is someone going through the same thing or something very similar.

The enemy wants us to be silent about our struggles and downfalls. Most of all, he wants us to be silent about our past. He wants us to be ashamed of our pasts and the things we have done. I am here to tell you that we do not need to be ashamed of the mistakes we’ve made Imagebecause God brought us out of them. He met us there. He redeemed us. He didn’t leave us nor forsake us. How amazing is that?! Revelations 12:11 states, “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” (NIV). The “him” this scripture is referring to is the devil. The reason he wants to be silent about our testimony is because he knows that if we speak about it, we have overcome. We are no longer bound by shame, guilt, and condemnation.

There is nothing wrong with a little transparency. It helps more than it hurts. I don’t even think it can hurt. Of course there will be some critics, but I have the utmost respect for people who are so open and honest about being delivered from homosexuality, prostitution, gang violence, etc. Don’t let the enemy steal you from your joy by keeping you in bondage. Be free. Overcome by the words of YOUR testimony!

So what about me? I am telling you all to be transparent, so I should be to. When I look back at my past, I see it so differently now than how I saw it while going through it. It’s crazy, I look back at old pics of me partying and appearing to be happy but I see a broken girl who was holding so much hurt and pain. I thank God for His saving grace. For healing me and making Imageme whole! I don’t ever wanna go back. I can’t and I won’t.

The other day, I was looking at photos where I was out in the club partying. I looked happy on the outside but I remember vividly that deep down I wasn’t happy at all on the inside. I had no joy, no peace. I was very much so led by my emotions. I would hit the club and drink heavily to try and escape reality, but when that party was over, when that buzz was gone, reality was there staring me in my face and I was broken. I didn’t realize it then (or maybe I just didn’t want to admit it), but I was completely broken. I had no joy and no peace. But God came in and rescued me. He freed me from all that hurt and pain.I had no place to go but to the cross…to the feet of Jesus and He carried that burden for me. He healed me and made me whole.The smile I have now is different from the smile I had then bc this smile is full of joy and peace. It’s not to cover up brokenness. Even when things are crumbling down around me, my joy remains bc it came from God and only He can take it away.

So why was I broken? During this time, a lot of things were falling apart in my personal life. I was in a relationship where I really cared about this person, but he really could have cared less about me. I tried to make the relationship appear great on social media, but in reality it was HELL. I was cheated on. I was abused. I used to fear for my life. I honestly felt that one day, I would be dead at his hands. I used to be ashamed to talk about being abused because I was always that strong girl. That girl who took nothing from nobody, but I found myself in a relationship where I was being choked, bullied, slammed on the ground, given concussions, etc. I honestly felt I didn’t deserve better. I would make excuses for my then boyfriend and would try to make us seem happy and like a great couple, but that was so far from the truth.

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At my lowest point, I had no where to go but to the feet of Jesus, and He showed me my worth. I talk about that more in my post Worth Far More than Rubies. Jesus met me just where I was. I was broken, had low self-worth, and felt undeserving. He redeemed me, restored me, and never left me. Even in my sin, he protected me. I am so grateful for God’s grace and mercy.

I used to find my value in having a man, especially that man, but now I know my value comes from God and God alone and nothing in this world can take it away.

I know I am not the only one who has been in an abusive relationship. I am here to tell you to break the silence. It is becoming more and more prevalent. Share your testimony, it might be just what a person needs to hear to end their situation. And if you are in an abusive relationship right now, I urge you to get out of it. You are worth so much more. You deserve to be treated like royalty. You are worth more than diamonds, pearls, rubies, and everything else. You are precious. This isn’t the best God has for you, I PROMISE!

I love you all!

xoxox Disa F.

The Power of the Tongue

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Lately, I have been studying a lot about anger and the power of the tongue. I listened to a sermon by Trip Lee on the importance for words. (You can listen here.) What he was speaking really blessed me and encouraged me. I hope it encourages you too!

I am just going to keep it real with y’all. I have had a VERY hard time in the past controlling my tongue. I would be rude (I still can be sometimes, God is not done with me yet), I didn’t take the feelings of others into consideration, I would tear down instead of build up, I would curse and not bless, basically I was mean. In Trip Lee’s sermon, He focused on Matthew 12: 36-37 which states, “And I tell you this, you must give account on judgement day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you” (NLT). This seriously ROCKED me. It was like all the words I had ever spoken that went against everything God is went through my head and I was seriously convicted. I am so thankful to be saved by the grace given to us by the blood of Jesus. If it wasn’t for that, I know heaven wouldn’t be my final destination. 

I felt the need to share that because words are spoken with the tongue. I think we fail to realize how powerful our speech can be. We carry LIFE & DEATH in the tongue. How crazy is that?! We have the ability to build up or to tear down. We have the ability to encourage or discourage. We have the ability to bless or curse. We have the ability to speak truth or speak lies. We have all these abilities through our tongue. What has your tongue been doing? Does it cut people like a knife or does it soothe people? Has it caused turmoil in the lives of others or has it provided comfort and support? 

These are all questions I have to ask myself. There are so many things I have said to people that I wish I could take back. There are so many “do-overs” I wish I had so that I could speak life into people instead of taking life out of them. The thing with words is, once they come out, they can’t be taken back. The damage is already done. 

ImageThe Bible says that whatever is in our hearts determines what we say, so its not just about watching our words, its about checking our hearts. What are we feeding ourselves on a daily basis? Are we watching things that glorify tempers and anger? Are we listening to music that makes us want to fight? We must GUARD OUR HEARTS! What goes in determines what comes out. Our words are an accurate reflection of what is in our hearts. I urge you all to check your hearts and to start planting seeds that will produce good fruit. 

One area where I see the power of the tongue abused the most is in relationships. (I am so guilty of this). I’ve always known there were power in the words I spoke, but most of the time, instead of using my words for good, I used them for bad especially with my little boyfriends I had. I would manipulate them with my words, I would tear them down, make them feel inferior. Now when I look back on those situations, I realize my heart wasn’t right. I was insecure and was the one who really felt inferior. I was hurt and wanted them to hurt like I was hurting. Instead of building them up and encouraging them, I would nag, complain, and whine.

It wasn’t until I completely surrendered to God that things started to change. God completely changed my heart. He healed me, made me whole, and softened my heart. I am not going to say that I never slip and say something mean, because I do at times. But now when I do slip up and say something mean or rude, I feel convicted. I don’t want to say those types of the things any longer, where as before, it didn’t bother me at all. No one could change that but Jesus. Surrender to Him. I promise you WON’T regret it!

Ladies, I encourage you to build up your brothers in Christ and significant other. Don’t underestimate your influence when it comes to speaking words of encouragement to the men in your life. The world tears them down daily, so we should build them up daily. 

Men, I encourage you to build the women in your life up. Many are dealing with insecurities. Don’t add to that. Treat them with the respect they deserve.

I am sure you all are saying, “But Disa, how do I do that? What steps do I need to take?” In a nut shell:

1. You need to pray persistently. Come to God open and honest. Surrender yourself completely to Him. Tests will come, the enemy will attack, so be prepared.
2. You need to read your Bible. The more time you spend in His word, the more you begin to look like Him. 
3. You need to surround yourself with brothers and sisters in Christ who are encouraging and supportive and help build you and others up so that you see it in action.

It can be done. I promise. But it can ONLY be done with Jesus. Allow Him to wreck you so He can develop you into the Godly woman or man He has called you to be. 

xoxo
Disa 🙂