Tag Archives: Bible

When Perfection Becomes a Prison

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Lately, with the help of my amazing therapist, I’ve realized just how much perfectionism has taken hold of my life. I set impossibly high expectations for myself as a wife, mom, friend, and professional, and when I inevitably fall short, I feel defeated. Without meaning to, I’ve projected those same expectations onto the people around me, constantly moving the goalpost so that nothing ever feels “good enough.” That weight isn’t fair for them to carry, and it isn’t fair for me either.

Perfectionism may look like ambition on the outside, but in reality, it’s a prison. It robs us of joy in the present moment because we’re too busy measuring ourselves against an impossible standard. The truth is, perfection was never meant to be our burden to bear.

For me, those unrealistic expectations stem from fear. Fear of being disappointed and fear of being a disappointment. But chasing perfection has only left me feeling unworthy and exhausted. I’m tired of presenting perfection on the the outside but battling the weight of it all on the inside. I’ve finally reached the point where I’m ready to lay that burden down. And if you’re tired of carrying it too, keep reading.

God Never Asked Me to Be Perfect

The Bible reminds me that my striving for flawlessness isn’t what God desires. Matthew 11:28-30 says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Perfectionism is heavy. Jesus offers lightness. When I cling to perfection, I’m essentially telling God that His grace isn’t enough, that I still have to “earn” it by doing everything flawlessly. But His Word says otherwise.

High Expectations or Heavy Chains?

I’ve also realized how unfair it is when I hold others to my same impossible standards. Ephesians 4:2 gently reminds us:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Love doesn’t demand perfection; it extends patience, grace, and understanding. By expecting people to never disappoint me, I miss the beauty of grace-filled relationships.

Freedom in Grace

One verse that continues to encourage me is 2 Corinthians 12:9:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That flips perfectionism on its head. My weaknesses, the very things I try to hide or fix, are actually opportunities for God’s strength to shine through me.

Learning to Rest

Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean lowering my standards or abandoning excellence. It means shifting from striving to please everyone to resting in God’s perfect love. My worth isn’t measured by how well I perform at work, how flawless I am as a wife, mom, daughter, or friend. My worth is found in Christ alone, and the work was already finished on the cross. I don’t have to prove I’m worthy. I just am.

I just am. Whew. That truth stops me in my tracks. I am worthy because I am His.

When I stumble, He steadies me. When I fall short, His grace covers me. And when I feel like I have to hold everything together, He gently reminds me: He already does.

Final Encouragement

If you’re battling perfectionism like I am, take this as a gentle reminder:

  • You don’t have to do everything right to be loved.
  • God’s grace is bigger than your mistakes.
  • The pressure to be “perfect” is not from Him, it’s from the world (and often, from ourselves).

Instead of chasing perfection, let’s pursue peace. Instead of impossible expectations, let’s embrace grace. And instead of striving endlessly, let’s rest in the truth that we are already enough because of Christ.

Love,

Disa B.

God is More Than Able

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Hey Dee,

When my mom called me at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday, I immediately knew something was wrong by the sound of her voice.

“Hey Ma, what’s up?”

Then I heard my brother’s voice on the line too. And in that moment, my heart dropped. I knew something terrible had happened.

See, my oldest brother’s girlfriend had suffered a brain aneurysm just a couple of days before, and I thought they were calling with an update—maybe one we’d been dreading. But nothing prepared me for the words that came next.

“Your dad had a heart attack last night,” my mom said.

Pause. It felt like time itself stopped.

“…but he’s okay. He’s alive.”

All the feeling left my body in that moment. MY DAD had a heart attack?! How? Why? He’s athletic. He runs 5Ks like it’s nothing. This was not on my bingo card. I felt heartbroken, worried, fearful, and in complete shock. I didn’t know if I should cry or scream, so I did what I do best—I jumped into action.

“Where are y’all? What hospital? I’m gonna pick up the dog so y’all don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be at the hospital soon.”

But before I go further, let me rewind.

This blog is months in the making. My husband encouraged me to start writing again, especially because since January, God had been placing the song “More Than Able” by Maverick City Music on my heart over and over again. Each time I listened, He revealed something new. I honestly thought I’d be writing about faith on a macro level—how even when elections don’t go our way or when the world feels chaotic, God is still faithful. He still moves. He still changes situations.

I had no idea those revelations were preparing me for this. For the hardest week of my life.

But in true God fashion, He was getting me ready for such a time as this.

My life verse is Romans 8:28, and God continues to show me—again and again—that He’s working for my good even when I don’t see it, even when I don’t understand. That week, those lyrics became my lifeline. They held me together when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

Let me walk you through the five moments God used this song to speak directly to me.

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1. “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

The first time I saw my dad in his ICU room, he didn’t look like himself. His skin was so dark. His eyes were dull. Machines beeped around him, tracking vitals I didn’t fully understand. The man I’ve always known as strong, vibrant, full of jokes and life, was now fragile and weak. I felt helpless—but not hopeless.

I looked at him and quietly whispered this line: “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

Because who am I to say that healing can’t happen? That miracles don’t still show up?

I refused to give fear the final word.

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2. “Can you imagine with all of the faith in the room, what the Lord can do?”

We had faith. I had crazy faith. But I’ll never forget the nurse who looked at me with cautious eyes and said, “Hope for the best… but prepare for the worst.” I appreciated her honesty, but my spirit rejected that. Not out of denial—but because I knew what faith could do.

In that room, with my brother beside me and friends and family praying all over the country, I felt the atmosphere shift.

I imagined what would happen if we all just truly believed.

Can you imagine… what the Lord can do?

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3. “It’s gonna happen, just let the Waymaker through. He’s gonna move.”

There was a moment I’ll never forget. I had stepped out into the bathroom, locked the door, and let the floodgates open. I cried so hard I was afraid someone would hear me, so I silently screamed—releasing the weight of fear, grief, and exhaustion.

Then I wiped my tears, walked back into my dad’s room while he was asleep, and played this song softly from my phone. I laid my hands on his chest and prayed over his body. I prayed in English. I prayed in tongues. I spoke life. I asked the Waymaker to move.

And I’m telling you—I felt the darkness leave that room. I felt a release. I felt peace.

The next morning, the doctors said he was improving fast. He was being moved out of the ICU.

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4. “Anything is possible.”

The craziest part? He had another heart attack during that first ICU night.

The doctors didn’t know how he was still alive, still stable, still thriving.

But I did.

Because anything is possible with God.

He defies statistics. He breaks through human understanding.

He steps in when the situation seems irreversible and He reverses it.

He’s not just a healer. He’s the God of resurrection.

And we saw it firsthand.

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5. “You’re not done with me yet. There’s so much more to the story. Just let the Lord come through.”

My dad is here. He’s recovering. He’s living.

And I believe with my whole heart that God’s not done with him yet.

There is so much more to his story.

There’s more life.

More laughter.

More milestones.

More memories to make.

And this moment, as terrifying as it was, reminded me just how real and present God is. He was never absent. He was never not working. He was always near, always able, and always writing a story bigger than we could imagine.

So if you’re walking through something right now—whether it’s fear, uncertainty, or heartbreak—I want you to hear me when I say this:

God is more than able. And He’s not done with you yet.

Let the Lord come through.

Faith Over Fear

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spiritoffear

Can I be honest with you all? I have been struggling a lot with fear lately. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been the scripture I have been holding on to. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This provides comfort to me. From the recent shootings and terror attacks to old friends dying in car accidents, fear has been tormenting me. Can I not go to the movies, go to church, drive down the street, or hop on an airplane without a high probability of dying?

From the looks of my social media accounts, I am not the only one who is struggling with fear. In my quiet time with the Lord, He reminded me that this type of fear does not come from Him. The enemy wants us to be fearful to live the life God has planned for us. If we are too afraid to drive down the street or hop on a plane, we won’t be effective spreading the Gospel. If we are afraid that a madman may shoot up our churches, we won’t go. The enemy is using fear to prevent Kingdom business from being done.

The Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). We can overcome fear by taking it to the feet of Jesus and by telling others about what we went through and how we overcame. Oftentimes, we feel ashamed or feel like we shouldn’t share certain things, but the Bible is clear. We have to share our testimonies in order to truly overcome.

So here is a list of few things that have almost crippled me with fear.

  • Pregnancy: Most of you do not know this, but I was told I had abnormal cells in my cervix that looked like cancer and they were growing fast. I had surgery to remove the portion of my cervix that was affected by these cells during the first year of my marriage and everything is great now, but after surgery, my doctor informed me that I may not be able to carry full term because my cervix could open any time because it is weaker now. He also let me know that I will probably never be able to have a vaginal birth. Being pregnant now, of course this is always on my mind. but I have to trust God. No matter what I feel, I know HE is in control. His plans are perfect.
  • Raising a black child in this world: With there seeming to be more and more innocent black people being killed at the hands of cops who are supposed to protect and serve, I am fearful of my child being caught up into something crazy just because the color of his skin. I am fearful of getting a phone call saying that my child died at the hands of a police officer because they “thought” he had a weapon, but he only had a pencil or some candy.
  • Having a husband who is a Police Officer: On the flip side of the bullet point above, my husband is in the final stretch of training to become a police officer. With so many people hating cops and thinking all cops are bad or crooked, I fear for his life. I am scared that some crazy person will kill him just because of his uniform. I lose sleep some nights over this.

These are real fears for me, but when I remember that this world is not my home…that I am only here for a little while, all fear goes out the window. I may have plans and dreams of growing old with my husband, but what if God doesn’t? Do I trust Him any less? Does it make Him a bad Father? I don’t think so. The Bible says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14). When we remember the real reason we are here, to spread the Gospel & save souls, fear has to go out the window. When we cast our cares upon the Lord, we can’t continue to hold on to the fear. We have to trust God no matter what.

With that being said, if you are reading this and you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior of your life, today is the day. Tomorrow is not promised. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9). That’s all it takes. You don’t have to get right first. God makes you right. You don’t have to wait until Sunday morning worship, you may not make it to see Sunday. Your time is right now. Don’t let another day pass you by without making this decision.

My biggest fear is not sharing the Gospel, but keeping the Good News to myself, while people die and go to hell. Choosing Jesus was the best decision I ever made. I can’t force you to choose Him just as He doesn’t force you to choose Him, but I promise you won’t regret it if you do.

Fear tries to overtake your faith. Don’t let it. If you are currently struggling with fear, take it to Jesus. He can and will help you overcome. Trust Him. Faith > Fear.

xoxo
Disa B.

Knowing God vs. Knowing Of God

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It is so easy for us to think we know someone based on what we’ve heard about them or learned about them through the experience’s of others, but we don’t really know them. We haven’t gotten to know them one on one. We haven’t built a relationship with them. Our friends or relatives might have a relationship with someone and they may share with us bits and pieces of that relationship but we don’t have a relationship of our own with that person. For example, I went to a rather large high school. We had around 1,000 people per graduating class. I did not know everyone. I knew of a lot of people just like a lot of people knew of me. On my track team alone, I didn’t really know everyone and I was captain. For college, I went to a smaller school. I knew everyone on my track team. I had a relationship with them all rather big or small…I knew them. I know some better than others because I spent more time with them, but I can say I know them all.  

A person who doesn’t know me but knew of me and was asked about me might respond and say something like “Oh yea, I’ve heard about her. She ran track right. She dated so & so and went to HBU right?” They are just saying things that they have heard about me from other people, where as a person who truly knows me would say something like “Oh yea Disa. That’s my girl. We talk/hang out all the time. The Lord has truly worked in her life…etc” They can say these things with confidence because they KNOW me. 

I feel like growing up and just living life, we hear people say “God is good.” We hear them say “God can make a way out of no way, He is the beginning and the end, alpha and omega.” We hear them say, “Jesus is real. He is good. He is redeemer. He is savior” And then we just go on and repeat these things because that is what we have heard others say, but we haven’t experienced His goodness for ourselves. We don’t know Him as our redeemer, our healer, our savior. 

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Jesus wants you to know Him. He wants you to have a deep, intimate relationship with you. He wants you to experience Him for yourself. I can blog, tweet, Facebook, and Instagram about how good the Lord is but that won’t save you. When you encounter Jesus for yourself, you won’t leave the same. You won’t be the same. I remember my mom always talking about how good God is but I never really understood it until I experienced His goodness for myself. Until I got to know Him. Now I don’t just know of God, I actually KNOW Him! I have my own relationship with Him. Through Jesus, I know Him as my friend, my redeemer, my healer, my savior, my comforter. He is my way maker, my door opener (and closer). He is my Lord! 

ImageHow do we get to know God and build a relationship with Him:

  1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior! “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your hear that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” – Romans 10:9. In order to begin to have a relationship with God, we have to be saved. The only way to get to The Father is Through Jesus.  “Jesus told Him: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” – John 14:6. Once you truly accept Him as Lord of your life, you will begin to see a change in yourself. You will begin to start looking more like Him. The process isn’t always going to be easy, and it will sometimes hurt, but it is all for your good and it will be well worth it.  
  2. Pray Often: Prayer is how we communicate with God. The Bible says to “Pray continually” in 1 Thessalonians. Praying doesn’t have to be so elaborate and complicated. Talk to God just like you would talk to a confidant here on earth. Tell him your hurts. Tell him how you feel. He wants to know the depths of your soul. Yes, He is all knowing so even if you don’t tell Him, He knows but He wants to know that you trust Him. He wants you to humble yourself and admit that you can’t do this thing called life without Him. He wants you to come to Him. He says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28)
  3. Read His Word: The Bible is God speaking to us. He gives us instruction and wisdom in His Word. It is living. It is relevant in today’s world. It shows His heart. It shows His plans. It shows Him. We can’t truly know God is we don’t know His word.The great thing about God is He is always there when we need him. He doesn’t ignore our text messages, he doesn’t forward our calls to voicemail. He is there in our time of need. He gives us thousands of promises in the Bible. But we must read it in order to know what they are. And the good thing about those promises and His word is that it never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

I pray that today you begin to know Christ for yourself and not through the experiences of others. I found God and began to really know Him at my lowest point. He saved me from depression, feelings of worthlessness, and so many other things. I know God as my healer because I have experienced it. I know Him as my redeemer because He redeemed me. I know Him as my savior because He died for me 2,000+ years ago and died on a cross for me so that I might have eternal life in heaven but also because there are times I could have died, times I shouldn’t have made it…yet He saved me! 

My prayer is that you begin to know God for yourself. Just like you spend time getting to know someone new, spend time with God. He wants to know the ins and outs of you. We will spend all day on the phone getting to know our newest crush but can’t spend 30 minutes with God. He wants a relationship with you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced. I can promise you that! 

Jesus loves you.

I love you.

xoxo Disa B.

The Power of the Tongue

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Lately, I have been studying a lot about anger and the power of the tongue. I listened to a sermon by Trip Lee on the importance for words. (You can listen here.) What he was speaking really blessed me and encouraged me. I hope it encourages you too!

I am just going to keep it real with y’all. I have had a VERY hard time in the past controlling my tongue. I would be rude (I still can be sometimes, God is not done with me yet), I didn’t take the feelings of others into consideration, I would tear down instead of build up, I would curse and not bless, basically I was mean. In Trip Lee’s sermon, He focused on Matthew 12: 36-37 which states, “And I tell you this, you must give account on judgement day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you” (NLT). This seriously ROCKED me. It was like all the words I had ever spoken that went against everything God is went through my head and I was seriously convicted. I am so thankful to be saved by the grace given to us by the blood of Jesus. If it wasn’t for that, I know heaven wouldn’t be my final destination. 

I felt the need to share that because words are spoken with the tongue. I think we fail to realize how powerful our speech can be. We carry LIFE & DEATH in the tongue. How crazy is that?! We have the ability to build up or to tear down. We have the ability to encourage or discourage. We have the ability to bless or curse. We have the ability to speak truth or speak lies. We have all these abilities through our tongue. What has your tongue been doing? Does it cut people like a knife or does it soothe people? Has it caused turmoil in the lives of others or has it provided comfort and support? 

These are all questions I have to ask myself. There are so many things I have said to people that I wish I could take back. There are so many “do-overs” I wish I had so that I could speak life into people instead of taking life out of them. The thing with words is, once they come out, they can’t be taken back. The damage is already done. 

ImageThe Bible says that whatever is in our hearts determines what we say, so its not just about watching our words, its about checking our hearts. What are we feeding ourselves on a daily basis? Are we watching things that glorify tempers and anger? Are we listening to music that makes us want to fight? We must GUARD OUR HEARTS! What goes in determines what comes out. Our words are an accurate reflection of what is in our hearts. I urge you all to check your hearts and to start planting seeds that will produce good fruit. 

One area where I see the power of the tongue abused the most is in relationships. (I am so guilty of this). I’ve always known there were power in the words I spoke, but most of the time, instead of using my words for good, I used them for bad especially with my little boyfriends I had. I would manipulate them with my words, I would tear them down, make them feel inferior. Now when I look back on those situations, I realize my heart wasn’t right. I was insecure and was the one who really felt inferior. I was hurt and wanted them to hurt like I was hurting. Instead of building them up and encouraging them, I would nag, complain, and whine.

It wasn’t until I completely surrendered to God that things started to change. God completely changed my heart. He healed me, made me whole, and softened my heart. I am not going to say that I never slip and say something mean, because I do at times. But now when I do slip up and say something mean or rude, I feel convicted. I don’t want to say those types of the things any longer, where as before, it didn’t bother me at all. No one could change that but Jesus. Surrender to Him. I promise you WON’T regret it!

Ladies, I encourage you to build up your brothers in Christ and significant other. Don’t underestimate your influence when it comes to speaking words of encouragement to the men in your life. The world tears them down daily, so we should build them up daily. 

Men, I encourage you to build the women in your life up. Many are dealing with insecurities. Don’t add to that. Treat them with the respect they deserve.

I am sure you all are saying, “But Disa, how do I do that? What steps do I need to take?” In a nut shell:

1. You need to pray persistently. Come to God open and honest. Surrender yourself completely to Him. Tests will come, the enemy will attack, so be prepared.
2. You need to read your Bible. The more time you spend in His word, the more you begin to look like Him. 
3. You need to surround yourself with brothers and sisters in Christ who are encouraging and supportive and help build you and others up so that you see it in action.

It can be done. I promise. But it can ONLY be done with Jesus. Allow Him to wreck you so He can develop you into the Godly woman or man He has called you to be. 

xoxo
Disa 🙂

Why Worry?

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Romans 8:28 This is a verse that we Christians know and repeat all the time. It happens to be one of my favorite verses. If we know all things work out for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose, why do we worry so much?

When we worry, we are basically saying, “God I kind of trust you but not really.” Worrying is the opposite of faith. How can we say we have faith in God if we worry all the time? We can’t have faith in Him if we don’t trust Him, and worrying means we don’t trust God completely.

I know often times we worry because we don’t understand the situation or circumstance. We don’t see how things will work out. The good news is, it’s not our job to understand. Our job is to trust God. He is all knowing. He sees everything. God is not bad, He is good. So although He might not have been in it, He can and will work through it. TRUST HIM!

Proverbs 20:24 sums it up, “The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand along the way?” By us trying to understand everything, we birth worry. We birth doubt. We birth fear. These things are not of the Lord. Now, when you stop worrying and begin to completely trust God, your perspective will change. You will begin to see your circumstances differently. God will not fail you. He is good. Worry decreases faith. Faith decreases worry. Which are you decreasing? Have Faith!

So how do we combat worry?

  1. Pray! Be persistent in prayer. Tell God all you’re going through. Release it to Him. He wants to carry your burdens. “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.” – Philippians 4:6 NLT

 2.Read God’s Word! When you read God’s word, you begin to understand just how good our God is. The more you spend time in His word, the more you get to know Him and the more you will trust Him. You will be able to hold on firm to the promises of the Bible because you now know them and because you trust what He says is true. Reading the Bible more and studying scripture also gives you ammo to use against those thoughts of fear, doubt, and worry. The Word is a sword. Use it.
Begin to speak things like:
– “God, I know you are working things out for my good. I might not understand why this is happening, but I trust You.”

-“Lord, on You the solid rock I stand. I will not fear.

3. Get an accountability partner who is mature in faith.This is important. You need someone who you can turn to who is stronger in faith than you are so they can encourage you and pray with and for you when your faith is waivering. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

I truly hope this blesses you. Being a perfectionist and a slight control freak, I know worry all too well. It wasn’t until I decided to completely trust God that the spirit of worry left me. By trying to control everything, I was saying, “God, I can handle this better than You can.” HOW CRAZY WAS THAT?!

I urge you all to truly Let Go and Let God!!

xoxo

Disa F.

What love really means

The True Meaning of Love

The word love is a hard word to describe. What better way to describe live than biblically? I love the way 1 Corinthians 13 is broken apart. It is easy to compare to relationships and friendships.

What kind of love do you show and offer to people?I want to give off this type of love to the ones I care about because this is how God loves us.

I will be meditating on this for the rest if the week!