Tag Archives: Christian

Death to Superwoman

Posted in Christian, Family, Relationships, Self Worth by

Let me start off by saying that perfection is an illusion, and there is no such thing as balance. Some seasons, you’ll neglect certain things and parts of your life, and that is ok.

For years, I believed I had to be everything to everyone. The strong Black woman. The wife who holds her husband down. The mother who never misses a beat. The daughter, the sister, the friend, the professional; all done with a smile, no cracks showing.

I wore the cape proudly. But the cape got heavy.

I told myself rest was a luxury I hadn’t earned. That pausing was a sign of weakness. That if I didn’t push through, somehow my family would fall apart. I thought strength meant never stopping.

But eventually, I stopped anyway, because I had no choice. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything in my life seemed perfect, but the weight of trying to be perfect and show up for everyone and everything, every time was crushing me.

The Myth I Inherited

Being a Black woman, you inherit stories. Stories of women who endured, who carried, who made a way out of no way. That legacy is powerful, but it can also be suffocating.

I thought strength meant silence. I thought motherhood meant martyrdom. I thought being a wife meant meeting every need before acknowledging my own.

The truth is, no one asked me to do that. Not my husband. Not my children. I put those expectations on myself.

The Superwoman Complex

Part of it was the Superwoman complex, that deep-rooted belief that I should be able to carry it all. That no matter how heavy life gets, I can handle it without breaking. That I can juggle every responsibility, every role, and never drop a ball.

But here’s the truth: I am not Superwoman.

I am not meant to carry everything. And even if I could, why should I? Carrying it all left me tired, anxious, and stretched so thin that there was no space left for me.

Letting go of the Superwoman complex has been an act of freedom. It has meant admitting that I am human, not a superhero. It has meant learning to ask for help. It has meant setting boundaries. And it has meant allowing myself to put some things down without guilt.

The Sofa That Saved Me

One of my favorite places in the world is my family room sofa. In the middle of the day, I’ll grab a blanket, curl up, and take a nap. For years, I would’ve felt guilty about that, like I was slacking off or wasting time.

Now, I love those naps.

I love that my children see me resting. I love that my daughter especially sees me prioritizing my body, my peace, my need for pause. Because I don’t want her to grow up thinking womanhood means constant exhaustion. I want her to know that she can be strong and still rest. That she can be a nurturer and still say, “I need time for me.”

It’s not just about what I’m teaching her, it’s also about what I’m unlearning for myself. Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is a sign that you need rest or that you need to delegate some things to other people.

The Real Me

I used to think my family needed Superwoman. The woman who could work all day, cook dinner, clean the house, do the homework, keep the smiles going, and never stop moving.

But my husband and my kids? They don’t need a superhero. They need me.

They need the me who laughs so hard my stomach hurts. The me who cries when I feel overwhelmed. The me who can admit, “I can’t do it all today.” The me who lets herself rest on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon, trusting that the world won’t collapse if I step away. The me that is present not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. The one who is truly enjoying each moment instead of thinking about and planning the next.

They don’t need my cape. They need my presence.

Death to Superwoman

So here I am, saying it plainly: death to Superwoman. I am not a myth. I am not an endless well of strength. I am not a machine. I am a woman. A wife. A mother. A daughter of God. And that is more than enough.

I am laying down the cape and choosing to live fully in my humanity with all its softness, all its imperfections, and all its beauty.

Superwoman is dead. Disa is reborn.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel alive and free.


❤️ Disa B.

When Perfection Becomes a Prison

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Lately, with the help of my amazing therapist, I’ve realized just how much perfectionism has taken hold of my life. I set impossibly high expectations for myself as a wife, mom, friend, and professional, and when I inevitably fall short, I feel defeated. Without meaning to, I’ve projected those same expectations onto the people around me, constantly moving the goalpost so that nothing ever feels “good enough.” That weight isn’t fair for them to carry, and it isn’t fair for me either.

Perfectionism may look like ambition on the outside, but in reality, it’s a prison. It robs us of joy in the present moment because we’re too busy measuring ourselves against an impossible standard. The truth is, perfection was never meant to be our burden to bear.

For me, those unrealistic expectations stem from fear. Fear of being disappointed and fear of being a disappointment. But chasing perfection has only left me feeling unworthy and exhausted. I’m tired of presenting perfection on the the outside but battling the weight of it all on the inside. I’ve finally reached the point where I’m ready to lay that burden down. And if you’re tired of carrying it too, keep reading.

God Never Asked Me to Be Perfect

The Bible reminds me that my striving for flawlessness isn’t what God desires. Matthew 11:28-30 says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Perfectionism is heavy. Jesus offers lightness. When I cling to perfection, I’m essentially telling God that His grace isn’t enough, that I still have to “earn” it by doing everything flawlessly. But His Word says otherwise.

High Expectations or Heavy Chains?

I’ve also realized how unfair it is when I hold others to my same impossible standards. Ephesians 4:2 gently reminds us:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Love doesn’t demand perfection; it extends patience, grace, and understanding. By expecting people to never disappoint me, I miss the beauty of grace-filled relationships.

Freedom in Grace

One verse that continues to encourage me is 2 Corinthians 12:9:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That flips perfectionism on its head. My weaknesses, the very things I try to hide or fix, are actually opportunities for God’s strength to shine through me.

Learning to Rest

Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean lowering my standards or abandoning excellence. It means shifting from striving to please everyone to resting in God’s perfect love. My worth isn’t measured by how well I perform at work, how flawless I am as a wife, mom, daughter, or friend. My worth is found in Christ alone, and the work was already finished on the cross. I don’t have to prove I’m worthy. I just am.

I just am. Whew. That truth stops me in my tracks. I am worthy because I am His.

When I stumble, He steadies me. When I fall short, His grace covers me. And when I feel like I have to hold everything together, He gently reminds me: He already does.

Final Encouragement

If you’re battling perfectionism like I am, take this as a gentle reminder:

  • You don’t have to do everything right to be loved.
  • God’s grace is bigger than your mistakes.
  • The pressure to be “perfect” is not from Him, it’s from the world (and often, from ourselves).

Instead of chasing perfection, let’s pursue peace. Instead of impossible expectations, let’s embrace grace. And instead of striving endlessly, let’s rest in the truth that we are already enough because of Christ.

Love,

Disa B.

God is More Than Able

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Hey Dee,

When my mom called me at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday, I immediately knew something was wrong by the sound of her voice.

“Hey Ma, what’s up?”

Then I heard my brother’s voice on the line too. And in that moment, my heart dropped. I knew something terrible had happened.

See, my oldest brother’s girlfriend had suffered a brain aneurysm just a couple of days before, and I thought they were calling with an update—maybe one we’d been dreading. But nothing prepared me for the words that came next.

“Your dad had a heart attack last night,” my mom said.

Pause. It felt like time itself stopped.

“…but he’s okay. He’s alive.”

All the feeling left my body in that moment. MY DAD had a heart attack?! How? Why? He’s athletic. He runs 5Ks like it’s nothing. This was not on my bingo card. I felt heartbroken, worried, fearful, and in complete shock. I didn’t know if I should cry or scream, so I did what I do best—I jumped into action.

“Where are y’all? What hospital? I’m gonna pick up the dog so y’all don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be at the hospital soon.”

But before I go further, let me rewind.

This blog is months in the making. My husband encouraged me to start writing again, especially because since January, God had been placing the song “More Than Able” by Maverick City Music on my heart over and over again. Each time I listened, He revealed something new. I honestly thought I’d be writing about faith on a macro level—how even when elections don’t go our way or when the world feels chaotic, God is still faithful. He still moves. He still changes situations.

I had no idea those revelations were preparing me for this. For the hardest week of my life.

But in true God fashion, He was getting me ready for such a time as this.

My life verse is Romans 8:28, and God continues to show me—again and again—that He’s working for my good even when I don’t see it, even when I don’t understand. That week, those lyrics became my lifeline. They held me together when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

Let me walk you through the five moments God used this song to speak directly to me.

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1. “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

The first time I saw my dad in his ICU room, he didn’t look like himself. His skin was so dark. His eyes were dull. Machines beeped around him, tracking vitals I didn’t fully understand. The man I’ve always known as strong, vibrant, full of jokes and life, was now fragile and weak. I felt helpless—but not hopeless.

I looked at him and quietly whispered this line: “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

Because who am I to say that healing can’t happen? That miracles don’t still show up?

I refused to give fear the final word.

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2. “Can you imagine with all of the faith in the room, what the Lord can do?”

We had faith. I had crazy faith. But I’ll never forget the nurse who looked at me with cautious eyes and said, “Hope for the best… but prepare for the worst.” I appreciated her honesty, but my spirit rejected that. Not out of denial—but because I knew what faith could do.

In that room, with my brother beside me and friends and family praying all over the country, I felt the atmosphere shift.

I imagined what would happen if we all just truly believed.

Can you imagine… what the Lord can do?

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3. “It’s gonna happen, just let the Waymaker through. He’s gonna move.”

There was a moment I’ll never forget. I had stepped out into the bathroom, locked the door, and let the floodgates open. I cried so hard I was afraid someone would hear me, so I silently screamed—releasing the weight of fear, grief, and exhaustion.

Then I wiped my tears, walked back into my dad’s room while he was asleep, and played this song softly from my phone. I laid my hands on his chest and prayed over his body. I prayed in English. I prayed in tongues. I spoke life. I asked the Waymaker to move.

And I’m telling you—I felt the darkness leave that room. I felt a release. I felt peace.

The next morning, the doctors said he was improving fast. He was being moved out of the ICU.

⸻

4. “Anything is possible.”

The craziest part? He had another heart attack during that first ICU night.

The doctors didn’t know how he was still alive, still stable, still thriving.

But I did.

Because anything is possible with God.

He defies statistics. He breaks through human understanding.

He steps in when the situation seems irreversible and He reverses it.

He’s not just a healer. He’s the God of resurrection.

And we saw it firsthand.

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5. “You’re not done with me yet. There’s so much more to the story. Just let the Lord come through.”

My dad is here. He’s recovering. He’s living.

And I believe with my whole heart that God’s not done with him yet.

There is so much more to his story.

There’s more life.

More laughter.

More milestones.

More memories to make.

And this moment, as terrifying as it was, reminded me just how real and present God is. He was never absent. He was never not working. He was always near, always able, and always writing a story bigger than we could imagine.

So if you’re walking through something right now—whether it’s fear, uncertainty, or heartbreak—I want you to hear me when I say this:

God is more than able. And He’s not done with you yet.

Let the Lord come through.

Faith Over Fear

Posted in Christian, pregnancy by

spiritoffear

Can I be honest with you all? I have been struggling a lot with fear lately. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been the scripture I have been holding on to. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This provides comfort to me. From the recent shootings and terror attacks to old friends dying in car accidents, fear has been tormenting me. Can I not go to the movies, go to church, drive down the street, or hop on an airplane without a high probability of dying?

From the looks of my social media accounts, I am not the only one who is struggling with fear. In my quiet time with the Lord, He reminded me that this type of fear does not come from Him. The enemy wants us to be fearful to live the life God has planned for us. If we are too afraid to drive down the street or hop on a plane, we won’t be effective spreading the Gospel. If we are afraid that a madman may shoot up our churches, we won’t go. The enemy is using fear to prevent Kingdom business from being done.

The Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). We can overcome fear by taking it to the feet of Jesus and by telling others about what we went through and how we overcame. Oftentimes, we feel ashamed or feel like we shouldn’t share certain things, but the Bible is clear. We have to share our testimonies in order to truly overcome.

So here is a list of few things that have almost crippled me with fear.

  • Pregnancy: Most of you do not know this, but I was told I had abnormal cells in my cervix that looked like cancer and they were growing fast. I had surgery to remove the portion of my cervix that was affected by these cells during the first year of my marriage and everything is great now, but after surgery, my doctor informed me that I may not be able to carry full term because my cervix could open any time because it is weaker now. He also let me know that I will probably never be able to have a vaginal birth. Being pregnant now, of course this is always on my mind. but I have to trust God. No matter what I feel, I know HE is in control. His plans are perfect.
  • Raising a black child in this world: With there seeming to be more and more innocent black people being killed at the hands of cops who are supposed to protect and serve, I am fearful of my child being caught up into something crazy just because the color of his skin. I am fearful of getting a phone call saying that my child died at the hands of a police officer because they “thought” he had a weapon, but he only had a pencil or some candy.
  • Having a husband who is a Police Officer: On the flip side of the bullet point above, my husband is in the final stretch of training to become a police officer. With so many people hating cops and thinking all cops are bad or crooked, I fear for his life. I am scared that some crazy person will kill him just because of his uniform. I lose sleep some nights over this.

These are real fears for me, but when I remember that this world is not my home…that I am only here for a little while, all fear goes out the window. I may have plans and dreams of growing old with my husband, but what if God doesn’t? Do I trust Him any less? Does it make Him a bad Father? I don’t think so. The Bible says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14). When we remember the real reason we are here, to spread the Gospel & save souls, fear has to go out the window. When we cast our cares upon the Lord, we can’t continue to hold on to the fear. We have to trust God no matter what.

With that being said, if you are reading this and you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior of your life, today is the day. Tomorrow is not promised. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9). That’s all it takes. You don’t have to get right first. God makes you right. You don’t have to wait until Sunday morning worship, you may not make it to see Sunday. Your time is right now. Don’t let another day pass you by without making this decision.

My biggest fear is not sharing the Gospel, but keeping the Good News to myself, while people die and go to hell. Choosing Jesus was the best decision I ever made. I can’t force you to choose Him just as He doesn’t force you to choose Him, but I promise you won’t regret it if you do.

Fear tries to overtake your faith. Don’t let it. If you are currently struggling with fear, take it to Jesus. He can and will help you overcome. Trust Him. Faith > Fear.

xoxo
Disa B.

My Journey to Pregnancy

Posted in Christian, fertility, maternity, pregnancy by

Bible-Verses-For-Birth-Announcements

Today I am 5 months pregnant. I reached the halfway, 20 week, mark on Friday (May 27th). So far, my pregnancy has been pretty smooth. My baby boy has treated his mama well minus a few aches and pains. But my journey to conceiving wasn’t as easy or simple. I am sure many moms or those currently trying to conceive can relate.

My husband and I wed on December 14, 2013. You can check out our wedding highlight video here. We knew we wanted to wait at least one year before having children, so in February of 2015 (a couple of months after our 1 year anniversary) I stopped taking my birth control to start the process. I knew it would take a few months for my body to regulate without the artificial hormones. I had been on birth control for years due to horrible cramps. But months later, my cycles were super irregular. I was concerned and worried. Did birth control damage me? Will I ever be able to conceive? These were the types of questions running through my mind.

During this time, I was constantly being asked when we were going to have kids, especially since we bought a house. Everyone was telling us we needed to hurry and fill it up with children. This only made it worse. Why was everyone so concerned about us starting a family. Then we found out my sister-in-law (I just call her my sister) was pregnant. I never admitted it, but I was envious. She hadn’t been trying. Why was she able to conceive and not me? The enemy was really toying with my mind.

After a while, I stopped caring. I told God, its cool. I don’t need a child right now anyway. I have weddings and events coming up. It will just slow me down and I don’t want to turn anyone away who wants to book me. But deep down, I was still worrying. I’m clearly a planner by nature, so I downloaded all these fertility tracking apps and became obsessed. Mind you my cycles were very irregular. It would be 28 days then 35 days then 42 days then 30 days. There was no way to track my ovulation.

Fast forward to September of 2015. I stated earlier that I am an event planner. I met a bride to be and we immediately clicked. Her wedding was scheduled for a Sunday in October of 2016. The day we were scheduled to meet so she could sign the contract, she called and told me she hired someone else. I was sad because I had really worked this client and I felt like our personalities really clicked (that is important when working closely with clients on the most important day of their lives). So, I talked to God about it. He said, “I blocked you from getting her business because you will be giving birth in October 2016.” Hold on now God, I will be doing what in October? How? I’m barely ovulating. But I believed Him because He has never let me down before. I told my husband what happened and he told me to stop stressing because God has us. A week or so later, a friend of mine, who happens to be a prophetess, text me saying she had a dream I was pregnant and that it will be happening soon. God was sending messages to me left and right, but deep down, I was still trying to control the situation.

December comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. January comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. February comes…I felt the Lord tell me to take a test. I’m like nah, I just took one like a week or so ago. It was negative. He was like take the test Disa (lol). This happened February 8th to be exact. I had one test left. I wasn’t planning on buying anymore because I had already wasted enough money. So, I took the test. I waited. I casually looked down anticipating only 1 line (negative test) but I saw 2 lines (positive). I was in utter shock. I couldn’t believe it. I ran into the room where my husband was and I couldn’t even say it. I just said, “look at this!” His response was, does this mean we’re pregnant?” I nodded and he just hugged me.

I went to the doctor a few days later to confirm it and to have her date the pregnancy. She said you are DEFINITELY pregnant. When she did the ultrasound, she dated my due date to be October 14, 2016. God told me in September of 2015 that I would be giving birth in October of 2016. God still works miracles. The journey was tough. I almost let my doubts interfere with God’s promises. My husband trusted God all along with no doubts, no fears…he just trusted. Even in my disbelief and even with my doubts, God still fulfilled His promise to me. My husband stayed faithful through it all and never doubted one time. I believe it’s because of his belief and faith that the Lord delivered.

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If you are on your journey to conception, trust God. Delight in Him. Give Him your worries, anxieties, fears, and doubts. Whether it is His will for you to conceive or not, trust Him. He is working on your behalf.

When I think about the timing of so many things that have happened in my life…God’s timing is truly perfect! Certain may have not happened according to my plans but His plans are always best and always better than what I had in mind!

If you’re waiting on something and it not happening the way you want it to, REST. Trust God. His timing is perfect. His plans are to provide you a future & a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

xoxo

Disa B.
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Feeling Discouraged?

Posted in Christian, Self Worth, Uncategorized by

I know often times in life things don’t work out exactly how we wanted them to; our plans don’t pan out the way we expected. In those times, it is easy to get discouraged and easy to give up, but I want to urge you to not give up. Disappointment does not equal failure. Hearing a “no” does not mean you will never hear “yes”. If you give up now, you forfeit your promise. The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants to steal your joy and your hope. He wants to kill your dreams and passions. He wants to destroy the purpose God has for you. The enemy wants nothing more than to see you discouraged. To discourage means to dissuade or hinder; to deprive courage or confidence.  The enemy wants to take away your confidence in your purpose. He doesn’t want to see you fulfill the things God has destined for you. Just as he met Jesus in the wilderness to try to persuade Jesus that He didn’t need to fulfill the will of God after Jesus fasted for 40 days, the enemy wants to persuade you to not fulfill the will of God as well. He doesn’t want you to reach your promise land. He wants you to see closed doors as missed opportunities, not as provisions of God. He wants you to think you aren’t good enough, like you can’t fulfill your purpose, and that you don’t have the experience or resources needed to succeed. He will do anything to get you to quit. Discouragement is one of his tactics to get you to quit and unfortunately, a lot of us fall for it. But the good news is, we don’t have to.

discouragedJust as Jesus overcame the enemy’s tactics, so can we. All we have to do is fight back with the Word of God. That means we must first KNOW the Word and have it in our hearts. I would encourage you to memorize, study, and meditate on Scripture. It is the sword we use to fight back the enemy.

Knowing the Word of God also helps strengthen our faith and our confidence. There are thousands of promises in the Bible that still stand for us today and the Word of the Lord does not return void. If we remember these promises, we won’t believe the lies of the enemy when he tries to discourage us. God has promised you a future and a hope. His plans for you are good and not harmful. Don’t let your faith waiver because of your circumstances. Stand firm on the Word of God. Fight the enemy back. You already have the victory. You just have to believe it!

I pray this encouraged you. When you feel discouraged, pray. If you don’t know the words to say, just say Jesus. He will give you peace. He is the ultimate encourager. He will lift you up.

 

xoxo Disa B.

Knowing God vs. Knowing Of God

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It is so easy for us to think we know someone based on what we’ve heard about them or learned about them through the experience’s of others, but we don’t really know them. We haven’t gotten to know them one on one. We haven’t built a relationship with them. Our friends or relatives might have a relationship with someone and they may share with us bits and pieces of that relationship but we don’t have a relationship of our own with that person. For example, I went to a rather large high school. We had around 1,000 people per graduating class. I did not know everyone. I knew of a lot of people just like a lot of people knew of me. On my track team alone, I didn’t really know everyone and I was captain. For college, I went to a smaller school. I knew everyone on my track team. I had a relationship with them all rather big or small…I knew them. I know some better than others because I spent more time with them, but I can say I know them all.  

A person who doesn’t know me but knew of me and was asked about me might respond and say something like “Oh yea, I’ve heard about her. She ran track right. She dated so & so and went to HBU right?” They are just saying things that they have heard about me from other people, where as a person who truly knows me would say something like “Oh yea Disa. That’s my girl. We talk/hang out all the time. The Lord has truly worked in her life…etc” They can say these things with confidence because they KNOW me. 

I feel like growing up and just living life, we hear people say “God is good.” We hear them say “God can make a way out of no way, He is the beginning and the end, alpha and omega.” We hear them say, “Jesus is real. He is good. He is redeemer. He is savior” And then we just go on and repeat these things because that is what we have heard others say, but we haven’t experienced His goodness for ourselves. We don’t know Him as our redeemer, our healer, our savior. 

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Jesus wants you to know Him. He wants you to have a deep, intimate relationship with you. He wants you to experience Him for yourself. I can blog, tweet, Facebook, and Instagram about how good the Lord is but that won’t save you. When you encounter Jesus for yourself, you won’t leave the same. You won’t be the same. I remember my mom always talking about how good God is but I never really understood it until I experienced His goodness for myself. Until I got to know Him. Now I don’t just know of God, I actually KNOW Him! I have my own relationship with Him. Through Jesus, I know Him as my friend, my redeemer, my healer, my savior, my comforter. He is my way maker, my door opener (and closer). He is my Lord! 

ImageHow do we get to know God and build a relationship with Him:

  1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior! “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your hear that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” – Romans 10:9. In order to begin to have a relationship with God, we have to be saved. The only way to get to The Father is Through Jesus.  “Jesus told Him: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” – John 14:6. Once you truly accept Him as Lord of your life, you will begin to see a change in yourself. You will begin to start looking more like Him. The process isn’t always going to be easy, and it will sometimes hurt, but it is all for your good and it will be well worth it.  
  2. Pray Often: Prayer is how we communicate with God. The Bible says to “Pray continually” in 1 Thessalonians. Praying doesn’t have to be so elaborate and complicated. Talk to God just like you would talk to a confidant here on earth. Tell him your hurts. Tell him how you feel. He wants to know the depths of your soul. Yes, He is all knowing so even if you don’t tell Him, He knows but He wants to know that you trust Him. He wants you to humble yourself and admit that you can’t do this thing called life without Him. He wants you to come to Him. He says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28)
  3. Read His Word: The Bible is God speaking to us. He gives us instruction and wisdom in His Word. It is living. It is relevant in today’s world. It shows His heart. It shows His plans. It shows Him. We can’t truly know God is we don’t know His word.The great thing about God is He is always there when we need him. He doesn’t ignore our text messages, he doesn’t forward our calls to voicemail. He is there in our time of need. He gives us thousands of promises in the Bible. But we must read it in order to know what they are. And the good thing about those promises and His word is that it never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

I pray that today you begin to know Christ for yourself and not through the experiences of others. I found God and began to really know Him at my lowest point. He saved me from depression, feelings of worthlessness, and so many other things. I know God as my healer because I have experienced it. I know Him as my redeemer because He redeemed me. I know Him as my savior because He died for me 2,000+ years ago and died on a cross for me so that I might have eternal life in heaven but also because there are times I could have died, times I shouldn’t have made it…yet He saved me! 

My prayer is that you begin to know God for yourself. Just like you spend time getting to know someone new, spend time with God. He wants to know the ins and outs of you. We will spend all day on the phone getting to know our newest crush but can’t spend 30 minutes with God. He wants a relationship with you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced. I can promise you that! 

Jesus loves you.

I love you.

xoxo Disa B.

Wife After God Review/Recap

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My number 1 goal for this year is to spend time with God everyday and to deepen my relationship with Him. I believe in doing so, I will then draw closer to my husband and be able to be the wife God has called me to be.

ImageI started this year off doing the Wife After God 30 day devotional. This devotional helped me understand how to be the wife God has called me to be. I already knew what he called me to do as a wife, but there were some areas where I struggled with the “how”. How do I be submissive even if I feel my way is better? How do I stay peaceful and patient when he is working my last nerve? How Lord? How?! I will be married for 2 months on February 14. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. I love being a newlywed. We haven’t struggled with a lot of major things since becoming married, but I am a studier. I am a researcher. I want to be prepared when the storms do hit. I live in Houston and when its hurricane season, we are prepared. I feel that is how marriage should be handled. We don’t need to wait for the storm to get here to prepare…it’s often to late at that point. We must prepare in advance. I could write a whole nother blog about that and I might at some point, but this blog is about my Wife After God 30 day devotional journey.

Prior to getting married, Darien (my husband) and I took a marriage class. It was a class for engaged couples and married couples to make a good marriage/relationship great or a bad marriage/relationship good. I am happy we took the class prior to getting married instead of waiting 5 years when things are going horrible to take the class. That class showed us how to communicate. It showed us how to be on the same team and not be enemies. It showed us so many things that I think we will keep with us forever. While going through the Wife After God devotional, I noticed a lot of similarities between what I learned in our marriage class and what I was learning in the devotional. This devotional was such a great reminder.

Each day in the devotional, there are scriptures to read, a story relating to the scriptures and to marriage and a challenge. There were also journal questions to answer at the end of each day. I absolutely loved that it was interactive and that it allowed God to show me what I needed to work on. This devotional touched on real issues that marriages face daily. It talked about intimacy, and the parts of marriage, praying for your marriage, praying for your husband, praying for yourself, God’s purpose for marriage, and so much more. I would totally recommend this to those who are engaged, happily married, married, divorced, or separated. I promise it won’t disappoint. We often want to blame others for the wrongs that happen in our lives and we often want to blame our spouse for the wrong that has happened in our marriage. This devotional makes you look within and see what it is you can do to change and what you can do to make your marriage better.

While doing this devotional, the author (Jennifer Smith) and tons of other women were doing it at the same time. Jennifer, who is also the founder of UnveiledWife.com, setup a Facebook group for everyone who was interested in doing the devotional and would post questions and youtube videos explaining each devotional each day. The women in this group were so transparent. My heart broke for some marriages and my heart celebrated with other marriages when they triumphed and made breakthroughs in their marriage. I would definitely suggest doing this devotional with other women and discussing the content with them and hold each other accountable.

Now, my favorite part of the devotional was the last day. The final challenge is to write a love letter to your husband or if you aren’t married, to your future husband. Men need affirmation…we all do but men especially. We tend to tell them everything they do wrong and everything they need to work on, but we don’t tell them as often as we should how appreciated they are and how loved they are and how wonderful they are. In the letter, you can spill it all out and make it as creative as you want it to be, as romantic as you want it to be, as quirky as you want it to be….you get to make it your own. This is something I challenge everyone to do. If you are a man, write a letter to your wife or future wife. If you are a woman, write a letter to your husband or future husband. Valentine’s Day is coming up…I am sure that would be a great gift or addition to a gift for your significant other.

This devotional can be bought on Amazon as a paperback or you can purchase the Kindle version. I highly recommend it!

xoxo

Disa Badillo

Seasons of Life

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Happy New Year! I pray your 2014 is off to a fabulous start.

I wanted my first post of this new year to reflect my 2013 and what I’m expecting for 2014. Each year, there are 4 different seasons where the weather changes. We have summer, fall, winter, and spring. When the leaves begin to fall, we know fall is coming. When it begins to get darker earlier, we know winter is on the horizon. When the flowers begin to bloom, we smell spring blossoming. When the days are longer and the nights are shorter, we know summer is here.

ImageWell, just like there are earthly seasons, there are also spiritual seasons and seasons of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 talks about these seasons by stating, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

In life, we all go through different seasons. Some of them we wish would last longer than others and some we wish we never had to experience. Each season we go through provides us with wisdom and growth. Each season prepares us for the next season just like fall prepares us for winter and spring prepares us for summer. Its easy to want to about the process, but if we don’t go through the process, how can we expect to get to the promise?

In 2013, I experienced many seasons, some were great and I loved them. Some hurt and I couldn’t wait to be out of those seasons. What I’ve learned about life and God is to be content with where you are right now…not complacent but content. Being ungrateful and discontent and complaining every 5 seconds isn’t going to make it go away any faster…it might actually prolong the process. God knows where you need to be RIGHT NOW. He knows what you need to go through to get to the other side. The hardest season I faced in 2013 was my engaged season. I just wanted to be married already. I became envious of other people’s marriages. I wanted what they have. But I am not her and my husband isn’t him. If I kept comparing us to them, I would never be happy. I would never be satisfied because we aren’t them. If I focused on someone else’s marriage, I would miss the beauty of my own.

My husband and I took a marriage course prior to tying the knot and the class was amazing, but some aspects hurt. It forced me to look at me and make changes to me. God showed me where I fell short and He was chiseling away my selfish ways and desires. He showed me that if I didn’t go through this process my marriage would fail. That’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good. There were days I just wanted to quit. I just wanted to give up because I resisted the change. It didn’t feel good for God to point out my imperfections and chisel them away so I could look more like Christ. God kept telling me, “Don’t abort the process. Don’t abort the process. Look at how far you’ve come. I am your strength you can do this. Its raining right now but the sunshine and rainbows are on the horizon if you just don’t quit.”

ImageLet me tell you, I am so happy I didn’t quit. I am happy I didn’t abort the process. It was HARD! But it was WORTH IT! If I were to get married without God showing me my imperfections and changing me, we probably wouldn’t have made it very far…we probably wouldn’t have made it to the alter. Now, I have faith that we can and we will make it. And I am loving my newlywed season. Everyday isn’t sunshine because the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy my marriage, but now I am able to fight back. Now its not all about me. I am now apart of a team. If I would have aborted that process I went through during my engaged season, my selfish ways would run me. My emotions would control me. Now I can control them.

Its so easy to compare ourselves and our lives to others but as soon as we do that we begin to feel inadequate, jealous and discontent. Just because one thing worked for him/her/them doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone is called to do the same thing. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and on your portion and you will be content. Always strive for greater but be content with where you are now. How can God bless you any more if you aren’t grateful for what He’s given you thus far? No matter what season you’re in, there is purpose there. Don’t waste this season just because you’d rather be in a different season. God knows best. Trust Him. He loves you.

 

xoxo Disa Badillo

Worth far more than rubies

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Many of us women always quote Proverbs 31 and say we are more precious than rubies, but how many of us truly believe it? If we truly believed it, a lot of us wouldn’t be struggling with body image problems, abusive relationships, low self-esteem, and all those other things that a lot of us struggle with daily.

I know for quite some time, I didn’t truly believe it.

Can I be real with y’all? I struggled with knowing my self-worth for a long time. Basically from 9th grade until this year…yes, THIS YEAR! I have parents who would build me up and tell me I am beautiful, I am valuable, etc. That was never the problem. The problem was that I didn’t believe it. I didn’t feel beautiful. I didn’t feel valuable. I didn’t feel I was worth much at all. I was insecure, felt less than, and when it came to relationships, I was willing to accept any and everything. The enemy really had a hold on my mind.

I would try to find my value in my GPA, in my performance on the track, in my relationships, from guys, from the clothes I would wear, and anything else you could think of.  Let me tell you, I have made 4.0s, graduated college Magna Cum Laude, had some great track meets, have gotten a lot of attention from guys, and I still felt empty. Trust me, I am not saying this to brag or boast. I am saying this to show you that no matter how many material possesions you have, no matter how great your resume looks, no matter how much of a star athlete you are, you won’t be fulfilled until you accept Christ in your life. He is the only one who can fill those voids. We find our worth in Him and Him alone not from the things in this world because all these things can and will fail us at some point.

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Me after graduating from college May 12, 2012

I placed my value in track so much that when I stopped performing as well as I once was (due to injuries and drama) I felt so low. I felt myself slowly going into depression. I placed all my worth and value in my relationship that when my ex cheated on me and abused me, I felt worthless. I felt I did something to deserve it. I felt so low that I didn’t feel like I deserved better. I didn’t think I could get better because I placed all my value and worth into a man who could honestly have cared less.

I have said all this to tell you that you can overcome this. Jesus overcame and so can we.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you
will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the
world.” – John 16:33

You don’t have to live life being insecure and looking to material possessions, a significant other, a pair of thighs in your bed, or anything else.

Ladies, your self worth is NOT found in that man. It is not determined by how many likes you get on your photos on instagram, how many guys try to holla, or your relationship status. Your worth is found in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were made in the image of God, and we serve a beautiful God so that makes you beautiful as well.You are worth far more than rubies, diamonds, and pearls. Believe it. Recieve it. Act like it. Don’t sell yourself short.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139: 13-14

Fellas: Your worth is not found in how many females you can sleep with, how big your muscles are, the car you drive, the brand of clothing you wear or anything else. You find your worth in Christ. When you accept Him as Lord and Savior of your life, you will be made new.

“And the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable than a whole flock of sparrows.” – Matthew 10:30-31

Now when you realize your value comes from God, your actions will change. Your thoughts will change. You will realize that you don’t have to give it up to a guy in order to get or keep him. You will realize that you don’t have to have 10 differect chicks in order to feel good about yourself. You will realize that you are valuable, that you are worth the wait. If a man gets upset that you won’t give it up, you will be cool with that and politely give him the boot because you know Whose you are. You will know that you are worth far more than a measley 10 minutes of something that can lead you to hell.

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 6:17

I pray that this helped someone who is dealing with self-esteem/self-worth issues. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You ARE more precious than rubies. You deserve God’s best. Jesus loves you. You are to DIE for. Jesus showed us that. Receive it. Believe it.

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xoxo

Disa Foster