Tag Archives: Encouragement

My Message to the Strong Friend

Posted in Christian, Self Worth by

To the “strong friend”: it is okay to admit that you’re not okay. That is a sign of strength.

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If you don’t read anything else on this post, I want you to know that admitting your struggle and your hurt does not equate to you being weak. Strength is saying, “you know what? I’m hurting. And it’s okay. I will make it.” We all need somebody. No one can get through this life alone. Thinking that we can is a lie from the enemy.

The Bible says in James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Healing comes through confessing our struggles to others. Healing comes once we face what we are going through head on and admit it.

Today, you may be feeling like living your life is no longer worth it. You may be feeling alone and lonely. Like no one understands. You may be feeling like you’re isolated on an island and thinking you’re the only person experiencing what you’re going through. Even in the midst of those feelings, you may still be encouraging your friends and family to get them through their stuff. You may be carrying the burdens of others and don’t think you can carry theirs and yours much longer. Release it today my friend. Cast all your cares on the Lord for He cares for you. His burden is easy and his yoke is light. Give it to Him!

You are worthy. You are loved. You are strong. And in your weakness, He (Jesus) is strong for you.

This time last year, I was struggling. See, I’m typically the strong friend. People come to me for advice and wisdom, and I give it with no hesitation. I can quote scripture and encourage people. That is a gift of mine. I love to do it. But when it was time to encourage myself, I couldn’t do it. I never understood how people could take their own lives until suicide was looking like my only option, and I attempted it…twice.

My family and friends tried to be there for me, but I retreated. I isolated myself because I didn’t want them to see how hurt I really was. So when they would call and text me, I would make it seem like I was doing okay. That I was making it. That the days we’re getting easier. But the exact opposite was true. I was drowning and depression was swallowing me up. I was at rock bottom. My faith in God diminished. I didn’t want to believe in Him any longer. I never understood how when tragedy happens, people blame God and turn from Him until it happened to me.

But you see, healing began to take place for me when I turned back to God and told Him that I was angry at Him and confessed my hurt, out loud. That was hard. Saying it out loud. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Jesus does. I tried to shut Him out. I ran from Him. I honestly lost all faith and trust in Him. But He never left me. For that, I‘m grateful. When I finally ran back to Him, healing began to take place. I began to have new strength. New perspective. Then, I got real and expressed it to a couple friends and my mom. See, as bad as I didn’t want to, I had to face it head on. Avoiding it…bottling it up on the inside was killing me slowly. But man there was so much freedom in confessing it. I didnt have to smile through it. I didnt have to pretend. I was free to live in my hurt for a moment. I was free to express my sadness and my anger and my disappointment. It felt good. It FEELS good. 10259733-3b68-4aad-bd08-0f6084bf18a2_637052fa-7ebd-4b72-9ddd-ab3655029929_2048x2048

I can’t say that I’ve made it. To be honest, each day I’m still making it. I’m still recovering. I still have to renew my mind. I still have to cast down thoughts. Tears still form. But I’m still here. And the pain isn’t how it once was.

So, to the strong friend, seek help. Seek wise counsel. Seek a safe place to be vulnerable. You will be so glad you did. Then a year later, you will be able to look back and see how you made it through your toughest time. That is strength. ❤️

Xoxo
Disa B.

Faith Over Fear

Posted in Christian, pregnancy by

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Can I be honest with you all? I have been struggling a lot with fear lately. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been the scripture I have been holding on to. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This provides comfort to me. From the recent shootings and terror attacks to old friends dying in car accidents, fear has been tormenting me. Can I not go to the movies, go to church, drive down the street, or hop on an airplane without a high probability of dying?

From the looks of my social media accounts, I am not the only one who is struggling with fear. In my quiet time with the Lord, He reminded me that this type of fear does not come from Him. The enemy wants us to be fearful to live the life God has planned for us. If we are too afraid to drive down the street or hop on a plane, we won’t be effective spreading the Gospel. If we are afraid that a madman may shoot up our churches, we won’t go. The enemy is using fear to prevent Kingdom business from being done.

The Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). We can overcome fear by taking it to the feet of Jesus and by telling others about what we went through and how we overcame. Oftentimes, we feel ashamed or feel like we shouldn’t share certain things, but the Bible is clear. We have to share our testimonies in order to truly overcome.

So here is a list of few things that have almost crippled me with fear.

  • Pregnancy: Most of you do not know this, but I was told I had abnormal cells in my cervix that looked like cancer and they were growing fast. I had surgery to remove the portion of my cervix that was affected by these cells during the first year of my marriage and everything is great now, but after surgery, my doctor informed me that I may not be able to carry full term because my cervix could open any time because it is weaker now. He also let me know that I will probably never be able to have a vaginal birth. Being pregnant now, of course this is always on my mind. but I have to trust God. No matter what I feel, I know HE is in control. His plans are perfect.
  • Raising a black child in this world: With there seeming to be more and more innocent black people being killed at the hands of cops who are supposed to protect and serve, I am fearful of my child being caught up into something crazy just because the color of his skin. I am fearful of getting a phone call saying that my child died at the hands of a police officer because they “thought” he had a weapon, but he only had a pencil or some candy.
  • Having a husband who is a Police Officer: On the flip side of the bullet point above, my husband is in the final stretch of training to become a police officer. With so many people hating cops and thinking all cops are bad or crooked, I fear for his life. I am scared that some crazy person will kill him just because of his uniform. I lose sleep some nights over this.

These are real fears for me, but when I remember that this world is not my home…that I am only here for a little while, all fear goes out the window. I may have plans and dreams of growing old with my husband, but what if God doesn’t? Do I trust Him any less? Does it make Him a bad Father? I don’t think so. The Bible says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14). When we remember the real reason we are here, to spread the Gospel & save souls, fear has to go out the window. When we cast our cares upon the Lord, we can’t continue to hold on to the fear. We have to trust God no matter what.

With that being said, if you are reading this and you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior of your life, today is the day. Tomorrow is not promised. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9). That’s all it takes. You don’t have to get right first. God makes you right. You don’t have to wait until Sunday morning worship, you may not make it to see Sunday. Your time is right now. Don’t let another day pass you by without making this decision.

My biggest fear is not sharing the Gospel, but keeping the Good News to myself, while people die and go to hell. Choosing Jesus was the best decision I ever made. I can’t force you to choose Him just as He doesn’t force you to choose Him, but I promise you won’t regret it if you do.

Fear tries to overtake your faith. Don’t let it. If you are currently struggling with fear, take it to Jesus. He can and will help you overcome. Trust Him. Faith > Fear.

xoxo
Disa B.

The Power of the Tongue

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Lately, I have been studying a lot about anger and the power of the tongue. I listened to a sermon by Trip Lee on the importance for words. (You can listen here.) What he was speaking really blessed me and encouraged me. I hope it encourages you too!

I am just going to keep it real with y’all. I have had a VERY hard time in the past controlling my tongue. I would be rude (I still can be sometimes, God is not done with me yet), I didn’t take the feelings of others into consideration, I would tear down instead of build up, I would curse and not bless, basically I was mean. In Trip Lee’s sermon, He focused on Matthew 12: 36-37 which states, “And I tell you this, you must give account on judgement day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you” (NLT). This seriously ROCKED me. It was like all the words I had ever spoken that went against everything God is went through my head and I was seriously convicted. I am so thankful to be saved by the grace given to us by the blood of Jesus. If it wasn’t for that, I know heaven wouldn’t be my final destination. 

I felt the need to share that because words are spoken with the tongue. I think we fail to realize how powerful our speech can be. We carry LIFE & DEATH in the tongue. How crazy is that?! We have the ability to build up or to tear down. We have the ability to encourage or discourage. We have the ability to bless or curse. We have the ability to speak truth or speak lies. We have all these abilities through our tongue. What has your tongue been doing? Does it cut people like a knife or does it soothe people? Has it caused turmoil in the lives of others or has it provided comfort and support? 

These are all questions I have to ask myself. There are so many things I have said to people that I wish I could take back. There are so many “do-overs” I wish I had so that I could speak life into people instead of taking life out of them. The thing with words is, once they come out, they can’t be taken back. The damage is already done. 

ImageThe Bible says that whatever is in our hearts determines what we say, so its not just about watching our words, its about checking our hearts. What are we feeding ourselves on a daily basis? Are we watching things that glorify tempers and anger? Are we listening to music that makes us want to fight? We must GUARD OUR HEARTS! What goes in determines what comes out. Our words are an accurate reflection of what is in our hearts. I urge you all to check your hearts and to start planting seeds that will produce good fruit. 

One area where I see the power of the tongue abused the most is in relationships. (I am so guilty of this). I’ve always known there were power in the words I spoke, but most of the time, instead of using my words for good, I used them for bad especially with my little boyfriends I had. I would manipulate them with my words, I would tear them down, make them feel inferior. Now when I look back on those situations, I realize my heart wasn’t right. I was insecure and was the one who really felt inferior. I was hurt and wanted them to hurt like I was hurting. Instead of building them up and encouraging them, I would nag, complain, and whine.

It wasn’t until I completely surrendered to God that things started to change. God completely changed my heart. He healed me, made me whole, and softened my heart. I am not going to say that I never slip and say something mean, because I do at times. But now when I do slip up and say something mean or rude, I feel convicted. I don’t want to say those types of the things any longer, where as before, it didn’t bother me at all. No one could change that but Jesus. Surrender to Him. I promise you WON’T regret it!

Ladies, I encourage you to build up your brothers in Christ and significant other. Don’t underestimate your influence when it comes to speaking words of encouragement to the men in your life. The world tears them down daily, so we should build them up daily. 

Men, I encourage you to build the women in your life up. Many are dealing with insecurities. Don’t add to that. Treat them with the respect they deserve.

I am sure you all are saying, “But Disa, how do I do that? What steps do I need to take?” In a nut shell:

1. You need to pray persistently. Come to God open and honest. Surrender yourself completely to Him. Tests will come, the enemy will attack, so be prepared.
2. You need to read your Bible. The more time you spend in His word, the more you begin to look like Him. 
3. You need to surround yourself with brothers and sisters in Christ who are encouraging and supportive and help build you and others up so that you see it in action.

It can be done. I promise. But it can ONLY be done with Jesus. Allow Him to wreck you so He can develop you into the Godly woman or man He has called you to be. 

xoxo
Disa 🙂