Tag Archives: Love

Death to Superwoman

Posted in Christian, Family, Relationships, Self Worth by

Let me start off by saying that perfection is an illusion, and there is no such thing as balance. Some seasons, you’ll neglect certain things and parts of your life, and that is ok.

For years, I believed I had to be everything to everyone. The strong Black woman. The wife who holds her husband down. The mother who never misses a beat. The daughter, the sister, the friend, the professional; all done with a smile, no cracks showing.

I wore the cape proudly. But the cape got heavy.

I told myself rest was a luxury I hadn’t earned. That pausing was a sign of weakness. That if I didn’t push through, somehow my family would fall apart. I thought strength meant never stopping.

But eventually, I stopped anyway, because I had no choice. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything in my life seemed perfect, but the weight of trying to be perfect and show up for everyone and everything, every time was crushing me.

The Myth I Inherited

Being a Black woman, you inherit stories. Stories of women who endured, who carried, who made a way out of no way. That legacy is powerful, but it can also be suffocating.

I thought strength meant silence. I thought motherhood meant martyrdom. I thought being a wife meant meeting every need before acknowledging my own.

The truth is, no one asked me to do that. Not my husband. Not my children. I put those expectations on myself.

The Superwoman Complex

Part of it was the Superwoman complex, that deep-rooted belief that I should be able to carry it all. That no matter how heavy life gets, I can handle it without breaking. That I can juggle every responsibility, every role, and never drop a ball.

But here’s the truth: I am not Superwoman.

I am not meant to carry everything. And even if I could, why should I? Carrying it all left me tired, anxious, and stretched so thin that there was no space left for me.

Letting go of the Superwoman complex has been an act of freedom. It has meant admitting that I am human, not a superhero. It has meant learning to ask for help. It has meant setting boundaries. And it has meant allowing myself to put some things down without guilt.

The Sofa That Saved Me

One of my favorite places in the world is my family room sofa. In the middle of the day, I’ll grab a blanket, curl up, and take a nap. For years, I would’ve felt guilty about that, like I was slacking off or wasting time.

Now, I love those naps.

I love that my children see me resting. I love that my daughter especially sees me prioritizing my body, my peace, my need for pause. Because I don’t want her to grow up thinking womanhood means constant exhaustion. I want her to know that she can be strong and still rest. That she can be a nurturer and still say, “I need time for me.”

It’s not just about what I’m teaching her, it’s also about what I’m unlearning for myself. Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is a sign that you need rest or that you need to delegate some things to other people.

The Real Me

I used to think my family needed Superwoman. The woman who could work all day, cook dinner, clean the house, do the homework, keep the smiles going, and never stop moving.

But my husband and my kids? They don’t need a superhero. They need me.

They need the me who laughs so hard my stomach hurts. The me who cries when I feel overwhelmed. The me who can admit, “I can’t do it all today.” The me who lets herself rest on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon, trusting that the world won’t collapse if I step away. The me that is present not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. The one who is truly enjoying each moment instead of thinking about and planning the next.

They don’t need my cape. They need my presence.

Death to Superwoman

So here I am, saying it plainly: death to Superwoman. I am not a myth. I am not an endless well of strength. I am not a machine. I am a woman. A wife. A mother. A daughter of God. And that is more than enough.

I am laying down the cape and choosing to live fully in my humanity with all its softness, all its imperfections, and all its beauty.

Superwoman is dead. Disa is reborn.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel alive and free.


❤️ Disa B.

God is More Than Able

Posted in Christian by

Hey Dee,

When my mom called me at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday, I immediately knew something was wrong by the sound of her voice.

“Hey Ma, what’s up?”

Then I heard my brother’s voice on the line too. And in that moment, my heart dropped. I knew something terrible had happened.

See, my oldest brother’s girlfriend had suffered a brain aneurysm just a couple of days before, and I thought they were calling with an update—maybe one we’d been dreading. But nothing prepared me for the words that came next.

“Your dad had a heart attack last night,” my mom said.

Pause. It felt like time itself stopped.

“…but he’s okay. He’s alive.”

All the feeling left my body in that moment. MY DAD had a heart attack?! How? Why? He’s athletic. He runs 5Ks like it’s nothing. This was not on my bingo card. I felt heartbroken, worried, fearful, and in complete shock. I didn’t know if I should cry or scream, so I did what I do best—I jumped into action.

“Where are y’all? What hospital? I’m gonna pick up the dog so y’all don’t have to worry about it. I’ll be at the hospital soon.”

But before I go further, let me rewind.

This blog is months in the making. My husband encouraged me to start writing again, especially because since January, God had been placing the song “More Than Able” by Maverick City Music on my heart over and over again. Each time I listened, He revealed something new. I honestly thought I’d be writing about faith on a macro level—how even when elections don’t go our way or when the world feels chaotic, God is still faithful. He still moves. He still changes situations.

I had no idea those revelations were preparing me for this. For the hardest week of my life.

But in true God fashion, He was getting me ready for such a time as this.

My life verse is Romans 8:28, and God continues to show me—again and again—that He’s working for my good even when I don’t see it, even when I don’t understand. That week, those lyrics became my lifeline. They held me together when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

Let me walk you through the five moments God used this song to speak directly to me.

⸻

1. “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

The first time I saw my dad in his ICU room, he didn’t look like himself. His skin was so dark. His eyes were dull. Machines beeped around him, tracking vitals I didn’t fully understand. The man I’ve always known as strong, vibrant, full of jokes and life, was now fragile and weak. I felt helpless—but not hopeless.

I looked at him and quietly whispered this line: “You are more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”

Because who am I to say that healing can’t happen? That miracles don’t still show up?

I refused to give fear the final word.

⸻

2. “Can you imagine with all of the faith in the room, what the Lord can do?”

We had faith. I had crazy faith. But I’ll never forget the nurse who looked at me with cautious eyes and said, “Hope for the best… but prepare for the worst.” I appreciated her honesty, but my spirit rejected that. Not out of denial—but because I knew what faith could do.

In that room, with my brother beside me and friends and family praying all over the country, I felt the atmosphere shift.

I imagined what would happen if we all just truly believed.

Can you imagine… what the Lord can do?

⸻

3. “It’s gonna happen, just let the Waymaker through. He’s gonna move.”

There was a moment I’ll never forget. I had stepped out into the bathroom, locked the door, and let the floodgates open. I cried so hard I was afraid someone would hear me, so I silently screamed—releasing the weight of fear, grief, and exhaustion.

Then I wiped my tears, walked back into my dad’s room while he was asleep, and played this song softly from my phone. I laid my hands on his chest and prayed over his body. I prayed in English. I prayed in tongues. I spoke life. I asked the Waymaker to move.

And I’m telling you—I felt the darkness leave that room. I felt a release. I felt peace.

The next morning, the doctors said he was improving fast. He was being moved out of the ICU.

⸻

4. “Anything is possible.”

The craziest part? He had another heart attack during that first ICU night.

The doctors didn’t know how he was still alive, still stable, still thriving.

But I did.

Because anything is possible with God.

He defies statistics. He breaks through human understanding.

He steps in when the situation seems irreversible and He reverses it.

He’s not just a healer. He’s the God of resurrection.

And we saw it firsthand.

⸻

5. “You’re not done with me yet. There’s so much more to the story. Just let the Lord come through.”

My dad is here. He’s recovering. He’s living.

And I believe with my whole heart that God’s not done with him yet.

There is so much more to his story.

There’s more life.

More laughter.

More milestones.

More memories to make.

And this moment, as terrifying as it was, reminded me just how real and present God is. He was never absent. He was never not working. He was always near, always able, and always writing a story bigger than we could imagine.

So if you’re walking through something right now—whether it’s fear, uncertainty, or heartbreak—I want you to hear me when I say this:

God is more than able. And He’s not done with you yet.

Let the Lord come through.

Top 3 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Marriage

Posted in Christian, Dating, Marriage, Relationships by

Today is our 3 year anniversary! You can watch our wedding video here! Time truly flies when you’re having fun. We are 2 different people now than we were when we got married at 23 years old and have learned a lot along the way.

I thought it would be fitting to share with you all the top 3 things I’ve learned about marriage in my first 3 years of marriage.

dance

  1. He is FOR me, not AGAINST me! – This took a while for me to grasp because it is so easy to feel like your spouse is your enemy in times of disagreements and arguments. I would get so defensive and my feelings would get so hurt and I would just shut down because who wants to communicate with the “enemy”. My oh so patient husband would always tell me that his intentions aren’t ever to hurt me and that he is one with me so hurting me would be like hurting himself. I don’t know why I couldn’t grasp that at first. Maybe I didn’t believe a man could truly love me like that. Maybe it was due to the abuse I experienced in previous relationships. Maybe it was a combination of all these things (it was). But now when we have disagreements, I know its not the end of the world. I know he’s not going to leave me. I know that he is FOR me.
  2. Comparison can & will kill the joy of your own marriage! – Let me tell you that a sure way to kill the joy and happiness in your own marriage is to compare it to somebody else’s marriage. I would compare my husband and our marriage to these marriages that looked so perfect on social media that I was missing the beauty of what we were creating. I tried to make my husband be someone he wasn’t. That was not fair to him. It killed the joy I had for a season of our marriage because I just wanted our life to look like theirs. I didn’t know the struggles that those marriages may have been facing behind the scenes but on the surface, they looked PERFECT & that is what I wanted. Then God gently reminded me that the enemy comes to steal, kill & destroy and that the enemy was using social media marriages to steal, kill & destroy the joy I had for my own marriage. Now today, I am totally content with MY marriage. I love my portion. Other marriages are great, and I LOVE to see their happy moments and no part of me gets envious anymore (its ALL God).
  3. We are ONE, but we are NOT the SAME! – We went into marriage with a good foundation. We took marriage counseling, went to marriage conferences, and read marriage books, but for some reason, I felt like once we got married, our thought process would magically work the same (I mean we are one after all). Well let me tell you that this was not the case. For one, the process of becoming one is just that…a PROCESS. It doesn’t happen immediately at the altar. Its a pruning process and doesn’t always feel good. But it is so worth every moment of it. Secondly, even though we are one, we are 2 totally different people who grew up in 2 totally different ways and in 2 totally different cultures. How could I expect him to think the way I think? It was very unfair. I had to realize that there is more than one way to get to 4 (you can add 2+2 or 3+1, you can multiply, subtract, or divide) but as long as the end result is 4 then you are correct. Some ways may take longer than others but that is okay. I had to learn that we aren’t doomed because the way we work the equation is different. We aren’t doomed because we think a little differently on some things. It is okay.

If you are struggling in your marriage, I just want you to remember to not abort the process if you want to get to your promise. Marriage is work. It is dying to yourself daily. It is thinking of your spouse above yourself (even if he/she isn’t doing the same). Marriage is not for the faint heart. It is not for punks. Marriage is the ultimate commitment that works when grace is extended often, when offenses are forgiven quickly, and when love is given unconditionally. I am a better woman because of my husband, and he would tell you that he is a better man because of me.

xoxo

Disa B.

Faith Over Fear

Posted in Christian, pregnancy by

spiritoffear

Can I be honest with you all? I have been struggling a lot with fear lately. 2 Timothy 1:7 has been the scripture I have been holding on to. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

This provides comfort to me. From the recent shootings and terror attacks to old friends dying in car accidents, fear has been tormenting me. Can I not go to the movies, go to church, drive down the street, or hop on an airplane without a high probability of dying?

From the looks of my social media accounts, I am not the only one who is struggling with fear. In my quiet time with the Lord, He reminded me that this type of fear does not come from Him. The enemy wants us to be fearful to live the life God has planned for us. If we are too afraid to drive down the street or hop on a plane, we won’t be effective spreading the Gospel. If we are afraid that a madman may shoot up our churches, we won’t go. The enemy is using fear to prevent Kingdom business from being done.

The Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). We can overcome fear by taking it to the feet of Jesus and by telling others about what we went through and how we overcame. Oftentimes, we feel ashamed or feel like we shouldn’t share certain things, but the Bible is clear. We have to share our testimonies in order to truly overcome.

So here is a list of few things that have almost crippled me with fear.

  • Pregnancy: Most of you do not know this, but I was told I had abnormal cells in my cervix that looked like cancer and they were growing fast. I had surgery to remove the portion of my cervix that was affected by these cells during the first year of my marriage and everything is great now, but after surgery, my doctor informed me that I may not be able to carry full term because my cervix could open any time because it is weaker now. He also let me know that I will probably never be able to have a vaginal birth. Being pregnant now, of course this is always on my mind. but I have to trust God. No matter what I feel, I know HE is in control. His plans are perfect.
  • Raising a black child in this world: With there seeming to be more and more innocent black people being killed at the hands of cops who are supposed to protect and serve, I am fearful of my child being caught up into something crazy just because the color of his skin. I am fearful of getting a phone call saying that my child died at the hands of a police officer because they “thought” he had a weapon, but he only had a pencil or some candy.
  • Having a husband who is a Police Officer: On the flip side of the bullet point above, my husband is in the final stretch of training to become a police officer. With so many people hating cops and thinking all cops are bad or crooked, I fear for his life. I am scared that some crazy person will kill him just because of his uniform. I lose sleep some nights over this.

These are real fears for me, but when I remember that this world is not my home…that I am only here for a little while, all fear goes out the window. I may have plans and dreams of growing old with my husband, but what if God doesn’t? Do I trust Him any less? Does it make Him a bad Father? I don’t think so. The Bible says, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14). When we remember the real reason we are here, to spread the Gospel & save souls, fear has to go out the window. When we cast our cares upon the Lord, we can’t continue to hold on to the fear. We have to trust God no matter what.

With that being said, if you are reading this and you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior of your life, today is the day. Tomorrow is not promised. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9). That’s all it takes. You don’t have to get right first. God makes you right. You don’t have to wait until Sunday morning worship, you may not make it to see Sunday. Your time is right now. Don’t let another day pass you by without making this decision.

My biggest fear is not sharing the Gospel, but keeping the Good News to myself, while people die and go to hell. Choosing Jesus was the best decision I ever made. I can’t force you to choose Him just as He doesn’t force you to choose Him, but I promise you won’t regret it if you do.

Fear tries to overtake your faith. Don’t let it. If you are currently struggling with fear, take it to Jesus. He can and will help you overcome. Trust Him. Faith > Fear.

xoxo
Disa B.

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Posted in Christian, Relationships, Self Worth by

 

Growing up, I had low self-esteem and a poor self-image. I didn’t like the way my nose was shaped or how my eyes looked.fearfully&wonderfullyI definitely did not like my hair. I desperately wanted to look like the girls on TV. I wanted to look in the mirror and see myself as beautiful instead of ugly. The older I got, the better I became at masking my low self-esteem with a false confidence I would pretend to have. I didn’t want people to know how I really saw myself, so I would portray myself as this cool, confident young woman who was so sure of herself and didn’t care what people thought of her. That was so far from the truth. On the inside, I was growing more insecure by the day. The only time I felt pretty was when I had a boyfriend. I let them determine how I saw myself. Whenever they would cheat on me and abuse me physically and/or mentally, I was back in a low, depressed state. I would immediately begin to see myself in a negative light. I would always believe I deserved to be mistreated because I felt I wasn’t good enough.  I would think, “If only I were prettier, he would treat me better…if only I had this or I had that, he would be faithful to me.” Eventually, I snapped out of that. Thank God! I fell to the feet of Jesus. He had been waiting on me for so long. He showed me my value. He showed me my worth. He showed me that I am beautiful, that I am made in His image. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He showed me that my value, my worth, my esteem comes from Him, not from them.

If you are struggling with body image issues, low self-esteem, or low self-worth, please know and believe you are beautiful, worthy, and valuable. God says so, and He does not lie. You are made in His image. He loves you, and He cares for you. Go to Him, not to the fading things of this world.  Only He alone can change the way you see yourself, but YOU have to be willing. Jesus loves you, and so do I.

Remember: You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were made in the image of God. If you have a poor view of yourself, you essentially have a poor view of God. Allow Him to change the way you view yourself. You are worth far more than rubies. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently.

xoxo Disa B.

A Letter to the Lost Me

Posted in Christian, Relationships, Self Worth by

Dear Lost Me,

You are somebody. You have been hurt. You have been ridiculed. You have been mocked. You have been taken for granted. Your name has been drug through the mud, but you can overcome. You will overcome. Your worth isn’t in that man who says you think you’re too much. Truth is, you are too much. You are set at a price that he couldn’t afford so he would try to do anything to devalue u. You are worth far more than rubies, don’t let anyone tell you differently. You are worth more than that man who chokes you and makes you fear for your life. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve so much more. You are beautiful. Why do you think you’re not? Sure you’ve been used and abused but that doesn’t define you. You are a queen. Your worth isn’t found in those girls you thought were your friends. I know you let them into your world and you trusted them. They prayed against what you were praying for. Don’t let them hinder your ability to be a friend. They were really a wolf in sheep’s clothing, pretending to care. That’s not you though…don’t let that experience turn you into that. You are kind, caring and compassionate. You don’t have to be a tough girl all the time. Sure you’ve been used and abused but that doesn’t define you. You made the grades, you had the scholarships…but you still feel empty because you placed your value and your worth in that. Those things are great but that doesn’t define you. The clubbing and the alcohol don’t define you. You use it to escape from reality but when the buzz wears off and you wake up the next day and you’re back in reality, you still feel empty and broken. This is not your solution…Jesus is.

One day you will realize just how valuable you are because you will realize Whose you are and THAT defines you. You are the daughter of The King. You are to die for…Jesus showed you that 2,000+ years ago. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your past isn’t your future. Your past, your pain, your tears, your experiences will become your testimony and it will touch the lives of those around you. It will save people and bring them to Christ the same way your pain brought you to the feet of Jesus. See there is purpose in your pain. You won’t be down always. I know you’re feeling depressed right now and alone but I promise you this…you are not alone. You may feel lonely but Jesus is there. He is there to pull you out of that gruesome pit of depression that’s trying to pull you in deeper. He is there. Reach out to Him. Let Him save you. Surrender it all. When you do, I promise you will feel better. You will be able to smile again…I mean truly smile. You will radiate from a joy that comes from within. ImageAnd one day, at the right time, God will bring you someone who knows your worth and is willing the pay the price for you. One day you will be a wife and he will show you what God’s love looks like in a man. The enemy will try to make you think that this is too good to be true, but remember God says nothing is too good for you. Remember you deserve to be treated like the queen you are. You are worth so much more than you could ever imagine and this man will show you that because God first showed him. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life…He will heal you. He will make you new. Let Him. Don’t abort the process before you get to your promise. It will be hard. But it will be worth it. And one day you will sit back and say…”God You are so faithful. You turned my misery into ministry. You turned my pain into joy. There were times I had given up on myself but You never did. Thank You Lord.”

xoxo

An Improved Me

Knowing God vs. Knowing Of God

Posted in Uncategorized by

It is so easy for us to think we know someone based on what we’ve heard about them or learned about them through the experience’s of others, but we don’t really know them. We haven’t gotten to know them one on one. We haven’t built a relationship with them. Our friends or relatives might have a relationship with someone and they may share with us bits and pieces of that relationship but we don’t have a relationship of our own with that person. For example, I went to a rather large high school. We had around 1,000 people per graduating class. I did not know everyone. I knew of a lot of people just like a lot of people knew of me. On my track team alone, I didn’t really know everyone and I was captain. For college, I went to a smaller school. I knew everyone on my track team. I had a relationship with them all rather big or small…I knew them. I know some better than others because I spent more time with them, but I can say I know them all.  

A person who doesn’t know me but knew of me and was asked about me might respond and say something like “Oh yea, I’ve heard about her. She ran track right. She dated so & so and went to HBU right?” They are just saying things that they have heard about me from other people, where as a person who truly knows me would say something like “Oh yea Disa. That’s my girl. We talk/hang out all the time. The Lord has truly worked in her life…etc” They can say these things with confidence because they KNOW me. 

I feel like growing up and just living life, we hear people say “God is good.” We hear them say “God can make a way out of no way, He is the beginning and the end, alpha and omega.” We hear them say, “Jesus is real. He is good. He is redeemer. He is savior” And then we just go on and repeat these things because that is what we have heard others say, but we haven’t experienced His goodness for ourselves. We don’t know Him as our redeemer, our healer, our savior. 

Image

Jesus wants you to know Him. He wants you to have a deep, intimate relationship with you. He wants you to experience Him for yourself. I can blog, tweet, Facebook, and Instagram about how good the Lord is but that won’t save you. When you encounter Jesus for yourself, you won’t leave the same. You won’t be the same. I remember my mom always talking about how good God is but I never really understood it until I experienced His goodness for myself. Until I got to know Him. Now I don’t just know of God, I actually KNOW Him! I have my own relationship with Him. Through Jesus, I know Him as my friend, my redeemer, my healer, my savior, my comforter. He is my way maker, my door opener (and closer). He is my Lord! 

ImageHow do we get to know God and build a relationship with Him:

  1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior! “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your hear that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” – Romans 10:9. In order to begin to have a relationship with God, we have to be saved. The only way to get to The Father is Through Jesus.  “Jesus told Him: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” – John 14:6. Once you truly accept Him as Lord of your life, you will begin to see a change in yourself. You will begin to start looking more like Him. The process isn’t always going to be easy, and it will sometimes hurt, but it is all for your good and it will be well worth it.  
  2. Pray Often: Prayer is how we communicate with God. The Bible says to “Pray continually” in 1 Thessalonians. Praying doesn’t have to be so elaborate and complicated. Talk to God just like you would talk to a confidant here on earth. Tell him your hurts. Tell him how you feel. He wants to know the depths of your soul. Yes, He is all knowing so even if you don’t tell Him, He knows but He wants to know that you trust Him. He wants you to humble yourself and admit that you can’t do this thing called life without Him. He wants you to come to Him. He says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt 11:28)
  3. Read His Word: The Bible is God speaking to us. He gives us instruction and wisdom in His Word. It is living. It is relevant in today’s world. It shows His heart. It shows His plans. It shows Him. We can’t truly know God is we don’t know His word.The great thing about God is He is always there when we need him. He doesn’t ignore our text messages, he doesn’t forward our calls to voicemail. He is there in our time of need. He gives us thousands of promises in the Bible. But we must read it in order to know what they are. And the good thing about those promises and His word is that it never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

I pray that today you begin to know Christ for yourself and not through the experiences of others. I found God and began to really know Him at my lowest point. He saved me from depression, feelings of worthlessness, and so many other things. I know God as my healer because I have experienced it. I know Him as my redeemer because He redeemed me. I know Him as my savior because He died for me 2,000+ years ago and died on a cross for me so that I might have eternal life in heaven but also because there are times I could have died, times I shouldn’t have made it…yet He saved me! 

My prayer is that you begin to know God for yourself. Just like you spend time getting to know someone new, spend time with God. He wants to know the ins and outs of you. We will spend all day on the phone getting to know our newest crush but can’t spend 30 minutes with God. He wants a relationship with you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced. I can promise you that! 

Jesus loves you.

I love you.

xoxo Disa B.

The “S” Word…Yep Submission

Posted in Christian, Relationships by

Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I thought that I should write about a topic that can either make or break marriages. Submission. A lot of people, especially women, cringe at that word. Submission in marriage gets such a bad rep these days. I know some people abuse what submission is actually supposed to be, but in order to have a marriage God’s way, as women we must be willing to submit even if we feel our husbands aren’t doing their part. We tend to say “I’ll submit when he does xy&z”. Instead of doing that let’s focus on us and what we can do better. Allow your husband to see the God in you and allow God to work on him. A quiet, gentle spirit brings about change in your man way quicker than nagging ever could.

eph 5

Being a newlywed, I understand how hard it can be to submit to your husband. We have been taught to be independent and to speak our minds. Society says “It’s 2014…what do you mean I need to submit?” TV shows view submission as weakness. Everywhere you turn, you hear about how you don’t need to submit. But God’s Word remains the same no matter what people say, no matter how society changes, no matter what year it is. The Bible says that we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Reverence means “deep respect for someone or something.” So out of deep respect for Christ, we are supposed to submit to one another…that includes men submitting to their wives as well, but I will get to that later. Right now, I want to focus on women.

As women, we are called to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). What I have learned is, we can’t submit to our husbands if we have never submitted to God. When I was single, I studied submission and the roles of a wife in biblical terms so that I could be ready when that day comes that I am a wife. I remember God saying, “How can you submit to your husband when you don’t even submit to me or your earthly father?” I remember it hit me hard. I never liked for people to tell me what to do, how to dress, how to wear my hair, or anything like that. I would rebel. God told me that if you rebel while you’re single, you will rebel while you’re married.  I needed that kick in the butt. How often do we disregard authority because we don’t agree to the rules? How often do we roll our eyes at our parents when they tell us to do things we don’t like? Submission starts long before you are married (that is for all my single people reading this). If you are married and are having a tough time with submission, it is okay. It is never too late to start.

So what does submitting to Christ look like?

Submitting to Christ is obeying God’s word. It is including Him in every aspect of your life. It is listening to those nudges and convictions He gives you. Submitting to Christ means respecting Him. This is also what submitting to your husband should look like because out of deep respect for Christ, we are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Submission isn’t meant to degrade us as women. It isn’t meant to make us a slave to our man. Submission isn’t meant to be a bad thing. Humans can make it bad, but that is not God’s plan. Do not stand for abuse…EVER! That is not love. That is not what submission is. Period. If you are in an abusive situation, seek help. I promise that is not God’s plan for your life. You are worth so much more than that.

What submission comes down to is love and respect. Husbands need to love their wives and wives need to respect their husbands. When I see women disrespect their husbands and talk to them any kind of way, especially in public, my heart hurts. We all need affirmation but especially men. I see that man being emasculated each time his wife lays down the law. Allow your husband to lead you. That is his role as a man…as a husband. Can it be hard? Yes. But with God, ALL things are possible.

Ephesians 5-25This brings me to the men. The bible doesn’t only talk about women submitting. It says to submit to one another…so men have a role in submission too. Men submit to their wives by loving them like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). You are one with your wife. You wouldn’t disrespect yourself or beat yourself or demean yourself…so don’t do it to your wife. Love her. Cherish her. She is your crown. She is your treasure. The bible says in Proverbs “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” One translation says he who finds a wife finds a treasure. A treasure is precious. A treasure is to be handled with care. A treasure is your wife. She is your crown. Treat her as such. Don’t take your role as leader and abuse it. You should be your wife’s protector. She shouldn’t need protection from you.
I want to leave you with the The Message Translation of Ephesians 5:21-33. I hope it helps you. The Word is life changing if you let it change your life.

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.” 

I love you all!
xoxoxo

Disa Badillo

Seasons of Life

Posted in Uncategorized by

Happy New Year! I pray your 2014 is off to a fabulous start.

I wanted my first post of this new year to reflect my 2013 and what I’m expecting for 2014. Each year, there are 4 different seasons where the weather changes. We have summer, fall, winter, and spring. When the leaves begin to fall, we know fall is coming. When it begins to get darker earlier, we know winter is on the horizon. When the flowers begin to bloom, we smell spring blossoming. When the days are longer and the nights are shorter, we know summer is here.

ImageWell, just like there are earthly seasons, there are also spiritual seasons and seasons of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 talks about these seasons by stating, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

In life, we all go through different seasons. Some of them we wish would last longer than others and some we wish we never had to experience. Each season we go through provides us with wisdom and growth. Each season prepares us for the next season just like fall prepares us for winter and spring prepares us for summer. Its easy to want to about the process, but if we don’t go through the process, how can we expect to get to the promise?

In 2013, I experienced many seasons, some were great and I loved them. Some hurt and I couldn’t wait to be out of those seasons. What I’ve learned about life and God is to be content with where you are right now…not complacent but content. Being ungrateful and discontent and complaining every 5 seconds isn’t going to make it go away any faster…it might actually prolong the process. God knows where you need to be RIGHT NOW. He knows what you need to go through to get to the other side. The hardest season I faced in 2013 was my engaged season. I just wanted to be married already. I became envious of other people’s marriages. I wanted what they have. But I am not her and my husband isn’t him. If I kept comparing us to them, I would never be happy. I would never be satisfied because we aren’t them. If I focused on someone else’s marriage, I would miss the beauty of my own.

My husband and I took a marriage course prior to tying the knot and the class was amazing, but some aspects hurt. It forced me to look at me and make changes to me. God showed me where I fell short and He was chiseling away my selfish ways and desires. He showed me that if I didn’t go through this process my marriage would fail. That’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good. There were days I just wanted to quit. I just wanted to give up because I resisted the change. It didn’t feel good for God to point out my imperfections and chisel them away so I could look more like Christ. God kept telling me, “Don’t abort the process. Don’t abort the process. Look at how far you’ve come. I am your strength you can do this. Its raining right now but the sunshine and rainbows are on the horizon if you just don’t quit.”

ImageLet me tell you, I am so happy I didn’t quit. I am happy I didn’t abort the process. It was HARD! But it was WORTH IT! If I were to get married without God showing me my imperfections and changing me, we probably wouldn’t have made it very far…we probably wouldn’t have made it to the alter. Now, I have faith that we can and we will make it. And I am loving my newlywed season. Everyday isn’t sunshine because the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy my marriage, but now I am able to fight back. Now its not all about me. I am now apart of a team. If I would have aborted that process I went through during my engaged season, my selfish ways would run me. My emotions would control me. Now I can control them.

Its so easy to compare ourselves and our lives to others but as soon as we do that we begin to feel inadequate, jealous and discontent. Just because one thing worked for him/her/them doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone is called to do the same thing. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and on your portion and you will be content. Always strive for greater but be content with where you are now. How can God bless you any more if you aren’t grateful for what He’s given you thus far? No matter what season you’re in, there is purpose there. Don’t waste this season just because you’d rather be in a different season. God knows best. Trust Him. He loves you.

 

xoxo Disa Badillo