Tag Archives: Marriage

Death to Superwoman

Posted in Christian, Family, Relationships, Self Worth by

Let me start off by saying that perfection is an illusion, and there is no such thing as balance. Some seasons, you’ll neglect certain things and parts of your life, and that is ok.

For years, I believed I had to be everything to everyone. The strong Black woman. The wife who holds her husband down. The mother who never misses a beat. The daughter, the sister, the friend, the professional; all done with a smile, no cracks showing.

I wore the cape proudly. But the cape got heavy.

I told myself rest was a luxury I hadn’t earned. That pausing was a sign of weakness. That if I didn’t push through, somehow my family would fall apart. I thought strength meant never stopping.

But eventually, I stopped anyway, because I had no choice. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything in my life seemed perfect, but the weight of trying to be perfect and show up for everyone and everything, every time was crushing me.

The Myth I Inherited

Being a Black woman, you inherit stories. Stories of women who endured, who carried, who made a way out of no way. That legacy is powerful, but it can also be suffocating.

I thought strength meant silence. I thought motherhood meant martyrdom. I thought being a wife meant meeting every need before acknowledging my own.

The truth is, no one asked me to do that. Not my husband. Not my children. I put those expectations on myself.

The Superwoman Complex

Part of it was the Superwoman complex, that deep-rooted belief that I should be able to carry it all. That no matter how heavy life gets, I can handle it without breaking. That I can juggle every responsibility, every role, and never drop a ball.

But here’s the truth: I am not Superwoman.

I am not meant to carry everything. And even if I could, why should I? Carrying it all left me tired, anxious, and stretched so thin that there was no space left for me.

Letting go of the Superwoman complex has been an act of freedom. It has meant admitting that I am human, not a superhero. It has meant learning to ask for help. It has meant setting boundaries. And it has meant allowing myself to put some things down without guilt.

The Sofa That Saved Me

One of my favorite places in the world is my family room sofa. In the middle of the day, I’ll grab a blanket, curl up, and take a nap. For years, I would’ve felt guilty about that, like I was slacking off or wasting time.

Now, I love those naps.

I love that my children see me resting. I love that my daughter especially sees me prioritizing my body, my peace, my need for pause. Because I don’t want her to grow up thinking womanhood means constant exhaustion. I want her to know that she can be strong and still rest. That she can be a nurturer and still say, “I need time for me.”

It’s not just about what I’m teaching her, it’s also about what I’m unlearning for myself. Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is a sign that you need rest or that you need to delegate some things to other people.

The Real Me

I used to think my family needed Superwoman. The woman who could work all day, cook dinner, clean the house, do the homework, keep the smiles going, and never stop moving.

But my husband and my kids? They don’t need a superhero. They need me.

They need the me who laughs so hard my stomach hurts. The me who cries when I feel overwhelmed. The me who can admit, “I can’t do it all today.” The me who lets herself rest on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon, trusting that the world won’t collapse if I step away. The me that is present not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. The one who is truly enjoying each moment instead of thinking about and planning the next.

They don’t need my cape. They need my presence.

Death to Superwoman

So here I am, saying it plainly: death to Superwoman. I am not a myth. I am not an endless well of strength. I am not a machine. I am a woman. A wife. A mother. A daughter of God. And that is more than enough.

I am laying down the cape and choosing to live fully in my humanity with all its softness, all its imperfections, and all its beauty.

Superwoman is dead. Disa is reborn.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel alive and free.


❤️ Disa B.

When Perfection Becomes a Prison

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Lately, with the help of my amazing therapist, I’ve realized just how much perfectionism has taken hold of my life. I set impossibly high expectations for myself as a wife, mom, friend, and professional, and when I inevitably fall short, I feel defeated. Without meaning to, I’ve projected those same expectations onto the people around me, constantly moving the goalpost so that nothing ever feels “good enough.” That weight isn’t fair for them to carry, and it isn’t fair for me either.

Perfectionism may look like ambition on the outside, but in reality, it’s a prison. It robs us of joy in the present moment because we’re too busy measuring ourselves against an impossible standard. The truth is, perfection was never meant to be our burden to bear.

For me, those unrealistic expectations stem from fear. Fear of being disappointed and fear of being a disappointment. But chasing perfection has only left me feeling unworthy and exhausted. I’m tired of presenting perfection on the the outside but battling the weight of it all on the inside. I’ve finally reached the point where I’m ready to lay that burden down. And if you’re tired of carrying it too, keep reading.

God Never Asked Me to Be Perfect

The Bible reminds me that my striving for flawlessness isn’t what God desires. Matthew 11:28-30 says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Perfectionism is heavy. Jesus offers lightness. When I cling to perfection, I’m essentially telling God that His grace isn’t enough, that I still have to “earn” it by doing everything flawlessly. But His Word says otherwise.

High Expectations or Heavy Chains?

I’ve also realized how unfair it is when I hold others to my same impossible standards. Ephesians 4:2 gently reminds us:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Love doesn’t demand perfection; it extends patience, grace, and understanding. By expecting people to never disappoint me, I miss the beauty of grace-filled relationships.

Freedom in Grace

One verse that continues to encourage me is 2 Corinthians 12:9:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That flips perfectionism on its head. My weaknesses, the very things I try to hide or fix, are actually opportunities for God’s strength to shine through me.

Learning to Rest

Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean lowering my standards or abandoning excellence. It means shifting from striving to please everyone to resting in God’s perfect love. My worth isn’t measured by how well I perform at work, how flawless I am as a wife, mom, daughter, or friend. My worth is found in Christ alone, and the work was already finished on the cross. I don’t have to prove I’m worthy. I just am.

I just am. Whew. That truth stops me in my tracks. I am worthy because I am His.

When I stumble, He steadies me. When I fall short, His grace covers me. And when I feel like I have to hold everything together, He gently reminds me: He already does.

Final Encouragement

If you’re battling perfectionism like I am, take this as a gentle reminder:

  • You don’t have to do everything right to be loved.
  • God’s grace is bigger than your mistakes.
  • The pressure to be “perfect” is not from Him, it’s from the world (and often, from ourselves).

Instead of chasing perfection, let’s pursue peace. Instead of impossible expectations, let’s embrace grace. And instead of striving endlessly, let’s rest in the truth that we are already enough because of Christ.

Love,

Disa B.

Top 3 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Marriage

Posted in Christian, Dating, Marriage, Relationships by

Today is our 3 year anniversary! You can watch our wedding video here! Time truly flies when you’re having fun. We are 2 different people now than we were when we got married at 23 years old and have learned a lot along the way.

I thought it would be fitting to share with you all the top 3 things I’ve learned about marriage in my first 3 years of marriage.

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  1. He is FOR me, not AGAINST me! – This took a while for me to grasp because it is so easy to feel like your spouse is your enemy in times of disagreements and arguments. I would get so defensive and my feelings would get so hurt and I would just shut down because who wants to communicate with the “enemy”. My oh so patient husband would always tell me that his intentions aren’t ever to hurt me and that he is one with me so hurting me would be like hurting himself. I don’t know why I couldn’t grasp that at first. Maybe I didn’t believe a man could truly love me like that. Maybe it was due to the abuse I experienced in previous relationships. Maybe it was a combination of all these things (it was). But now when we have disagreements, I know its not the end of the world. I know he’s not going to leave me. I know that he is FOR me.
  2. Comparison can & will kill the joy of your own marriage! – Let me tell you that a sure way to kill the joy and happiness in your own marriage is to compare it to somebody else’s marriage. I would compare my husband and our marriage to these marriages that looked so perfect on social media that I was missing the beauty of what we were creating. I tried to make my husband be someone he wasn’t. That was not fair to him. It killed the joy I had for a season of our marriage because I just wanted our life to look like theirs. I didn’t know the struggles that those marriages may have been facing behind the scenes but on the surface, they looked PERFECT & that is what I wanted. Then God gently reminded me that the enemy comes to steal, kill & destroy and that the enemy was using social media marriages to steal, kill & destroy the joy I had for my own marriage. Now today, I am totally content with MY marriage. I love my portion. Other marriages are great, and I LOVE to see their happy moments and no part of me gets envious anymore (its ALL God).
  3. We are ONE, but we are NOT the SAME! – We went into marriage with a good foundation. We took marriage counseling, went to marriage conferences, and read marriage books, but for some reason, I felt like once we got married, our thought process would magically work the same (I mean we are one after all). Well let me tell you that this was not the case. For one, the process of becoming one is just that…a PROCESS. It doesn’t happen immediately at the altar. Its a pruning process and doesn’t always feel good. But it is so worth every moment of it. Secondly, even though we are one, we are 2 totally different people who grew up in 2 totally different ways and in 2 totally different cultures. How could I expect him to think the way I think? It was very unfair. I had to realize that there is more than one way to get to 4 (you can add 2+2 or 3+1, you can multiply, subtract, or divide) but as long as the end result is 4 then you are correct. Some ways may take longer than others but that is okay. I had to learn that we aren’t doomed because the way we work the equation is different. We aren’t doomed because we think a little differently on some things. It is okay.

If you are struggling in your marriage, I just want you to remember to not abort the process if you want to get to your promise. Marriage is work. It is dying to yourself daily. It is thinking of your spouse above yourself (even if he/she isn’t doing the same). Marriage is not for the faint heart. It is not for punks. Marriage is the ultimate commitment that works when grace is extended often, when offenses are forgiven quickly, and when love is given unconditionally. I am a better woman because of my husband, and he would tell you that he is a better man because of me.

xoxo

Disa B.

My Journey to Pregnancy

Posted in Christian, fertility, maternity, pregnancy by

Bible-Verses-For-Birth-Announcements

Today I am 5 months pregnant. I reached the halfway, 20 week, mark on Friday (May 27th). So far, my pregnancy has been pretty smooth. My baby boy has treated his mama well minus a few aches and pains. But my journey to conceiving wasn’t as easy or simple. I am sure many moms or those currently trying to conceive can relate.

My husband and I wed on December 14, 2013. You can check out our wedding highlight video here. We knew we wanted to wait at least one year before having children, so in February of 2015 (a couple of months after our 1 year anniversary) I stopped taking my birth control to start the process. I knew it would take a few months for my body to regulate without the artificial hormones. I had been on birth control for years due to horrible cramps. But months later, my cycles were super irregular. I was concerned and worried. Did birth control damage me? Will I ever be able to conceive? These were the types of questions running through my mind.

During this time, I was constantly being asked when we were going to have kids, especially since we bought a house. Everyone was telling us we needed to hurry and fill it up with children. This only made it worse. Why was everyone so concerned about us starting a family. Then we found out my sister-in-law (I just call her my sister) was pregnant. I never admitted it, but I was envious. She hadn’t been trying. Why was she able to conceive and not me? The enemy was really toying with my mind.

After a while, I stopped caring. I told God, its cool. I don’t need a child right now anyway. I have weddings and events coming up. It will just slow me down and I don’t want to turn anyone away who wants to book me. But deep down, I was still worrying. I’m clearly a planner by nature, so I downloaded all these fertility tracking apps and became obsessed. Mind you my cycles were very irregular. It would be 28 days then 35 days then 42 days then 30 days. There was no way to track my ovulation.

Fast forward to September of 2015. I stated earlier that I am an event planner. I met a bride to be and we immediately clicked. Her wedding was scheduled for a Sunday in October of 2016. The day we were scheduled to meet so she could sign the contract, she called and told me she hired someone else. I was sad because I had really worked this client and I felt like our personalities really clicked (that is important when working closely with clients on the most important day of their lives). So, I talked to God about it. He said, “I blocked you from getting her business because you will be giving birth in October 2016.” Hold on now God, I will be doing what in October? How? I’m barely ovulating. But I believed Him because He has never let me down before. I told my husband what happened and he told me to stop stressing because God has us. A week or so later, a friend of mine, who happens to be a prophetess, text me saying she had a dream I was pregnant and that it will be happening soon. God was sending messages to me left and right, but deep down, I was still trying to control the situation.

December comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. January comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. February comes…I felt the Lord tell me to take a test. I’m like nah, I just took one like a week or so ago. It was negative. He was like take the test Disa (lol). This happened February 8th to be exact. I had one test left. I wasn’t planning on buying anymore because I had already wasted enough money. So, I took the test. I waited. I casually looked down anticipating only 1 line (negative test) but I saw 2 lines (positive). I was in utter shock. I couldn’t believe it. I ran into the room where my husband was and I couldn’t even say it. I just said, “look at this!” His response was, does this mean we’re pregnant?” I nodded and he just hugged me.

I went to the doctor a few days later to confirm it and to have her date the pregnancy. She said you are DEFINITELY pregnant. When she did the ultrasound, she dated my due date to be October 14, 2016. God told me in September of 2015 that I would be giving birth in October of 2016. God still works miracles. The journey was tough. I almost let my doubts interfere with God’s promises. My husband trusted God all along with no doubts, no fears…he just trusted. Even in my disbelief and even with my doubts, God still fulfilled His promise to me. My husband stayed faithful through it all and never doubted one time. I believe it’s because of his belief and faith that the Lord delivered.

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If you are on your journey to conception, trust God. Delight in Him. Give Him your worries, anxieties, fears, and doubts. Whether it is His will for you to conceive or not, trust Him. He is working on your behalf.

When I think about the timing of so many things that have happened in my life…God’s timing is truly perfect! Certain may have not happened according to my plans but His plans are always best and always better than what I had in mind!

If you’re waiting on something and it not happening the way you want it to, REST. Trust God. His timing is perfect. His plans are to provide you a future & a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

xoxo

Disa B.
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The “S” Word…Yep Submission

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Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I thought that I should write about a topic that can either make or break marriages. Submission. A lot of people, especially women, cringe at that word. Submission in marriage gets such a bad rep these days. I know some people abuse what submission is actually supposed to be, but in order to have a marriage God’s way, as women we must be willing to submit even if we feel our husbands aren’t doing their part. We tend to say “I’ll submit when he does xy&z”. Instead of doing that let’s focus on us and what we can do better. Allow your husband to see the God in you and allow God to work on him. A quiet, gentle spirit brings about change in your man way quicker than nagging ever could.

eph 5

Being a newlywed, I understand how hard it can be to submit to your husband. We have been taught to be independent and to speak our minds. Society says “It’s 2014…what do you mean I need to submit?” TV shows view submission as weakness. Everywhere you turn, you hear about how you don’t need to submit. But God’s Word remains the same no matter what people say, no matter how society changes, no matter what year it is. The Bible says that we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Reverence means “deep respect for someone or something.” So out of deep respect for Christ, we are supposed to submit to one another…that includes men submitting to their wives as well, but I will get to that later. Right now, I want to focus on women.

As women, we are called to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). What I have learned is, we can’t submit to our husbands if we have never submitted to God. When I was single, I studied submission and the roles of a wife in biblical terms so that I could be ready when that day comes that I am a wife. I remember God saying, “How can you submit to your husband when you don’t even submit to me or your earthly father?” I remember it hit me hard. I never liked for people to tell me what to do, how to dress, how to wear my hair, or anything like that. I would rebel. God told me that if you rebel while you’re single, you will rebel while you’re married.  I needed that kick in the butt. How often do we disregard authority because we don’t agree to the rules? How often do we roll our eyes at our parents when they tell us to do things we don’t like? Submission starts long before you are married (that is for all my single people reading this). If you are married and are having a tough time with submission, it is okay. It is never too late to start.

So what does submitting to Christ look like?

Submitting to Christ is obeying God’s word. It is including Him in every aspect of your life. It is listening to those nudges and convictions He gives you. Submitting to Christ means respecting Him. This is also what submitting to your husband should look like because out of deep respect for Christ, we are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Submission isn’t meant to degrade us as women. It isn’t meant to make us a slave to our man. Submission isn’t meant to be a bad thing. Humans can make it bad, but that is not God’s plan. Do not stand for abuse…EVER! That is not love. That is not what submission is. Period. If you are in an abusive situation, seek help. I promise that is not God’s plan for your life. You are worth so much more than that.

What submission comes down to is love and respect. Husbands need to love their wives and wives need to respect their husbands. When I see women disrespect their husbands and talk to them any kind of way, especially in public, my heart hurts. We all need affirmation but especially men. I see that man being emasculated each time his wife lays down the law. Allow your husband to lead you. That is his role as a man…as a husband. Can it be hard? Yes. But with God, ALL things are possible.

Ephesians 5-25This brings me to the men. The bible doesn’t only talk about women submitting. It says to submit to one another…so men have a role in submission too. Men submit to their wives by loving them like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). You are one with your wife. You wouldn’t disrespect yourself or beat yourself or demean yourself…so don’t do it to your wife. Love her. Cherish her. She is your crown. She is your treasure. The bible says in Proverbs “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” One translation says he who finds a wife finds a treasure. A treasure is precious. A treasure is to be handled with care. A treasure is your wife. She is your crown. Treat her as such. Don’t take your role as leader and abuse it. You should be your wife’s protector. She shouldn’t need protection from you.
I want to leave you with the The Message Translation of Ephesians 5:21-33. I hope it helps you. The Word is life changing if you let it change your life.

“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.” 

I love you all!
xoxoxo

Disa Badillo

Wife After God Review/Recap

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My number 1 goal for this year is to spend time with God everyday and to deepen my relationship with Him. I believe in doing so, I will then draw closer to my husband and be able to be the wife God has called me to be.

ImageI started this year off doing the Wife After God 30 day devotional. This devotional helped me understand how to be the wife God has called me to be. I already knew what he called me to do as a wife, but there were some areas where I struggled with the “how”. How do I be submissive even if I feel my way is better? How do I stay peaceful and patient when he is working my last nerve? How Lord? How?! I will be married for 2 months on February 14. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. I love being a newlywed. We haven’t struggled with a lot of major things since becoming married, but I am a studier. I am a researcher. I want to be prepared when the storms do hit. I live in Houston and when its hurricane season, we are prepared. I feel that is how marriage should be handled. We don’t need to wait for the storm to get here to prepare…it’s often to late at that point. We must prepare in advance. I could write a whole nother blog about that and I might at some point, but this blog is about my Wife After God 30 day devotional journey.

Prior to getting married, Darien (my husband) and I took a marriage class. It was a class for engaged couples and married couples to make a good marriage/relationship great or a bad marriage/relationship good. I am happy we took the class prior to getting married instead of waiting 5 years when things are going horrible to take the class. That class showed us how to communicate. It showed us how to be on the same team and not be enemies. It showed us so many things that I think we will keep with us forever. While going through the Wife After God devotional, I noticed a lot of similarities between what I learned in our marriage class and what I was learning in the devotional. This devotional was such a great reminder.

Each day in the devotional, there are scriptures to read, a story relating to the scriptures and to marriage and a challenge. There were also journal questions to answer at the end of each day. I absolutely loved that it was interactive and that it allowed God to show me what I needed to work on. This devotional touched on real issues that marriages face daily. It talked about intimacy, and the parts of marriage, praying for your marriage, praying for your husband, praying for yourself, God’s purpose for marriage, and so much more. I would totally recommend this to those who are engaged, happily married, married, divorced, or separated. I promise it won’t disappoint. We often want to blame others for the wrongs that happen in our lives and we often want to blame our spouse for the wrong that has happened in our marriage. This devotional makes you look within and see what it is you can do to change and what you can do to make your marriage better.

While doing this devotional, the author (Jennifer Smith) and tons of other women were doing it at the same time. Jennifer, who is also the founder of UnveiledWife.com, setup a Facebook group for everyone who was interested in doing the devotional and would post questions and youtube videos explaining each devotional each day. The women in this group were so transparent. My heart broke for some marriages and my heart celebrated with other marriages when they triumphed and made breakthroughs in their marriage. I would definitely suggest doing this devotional with other women and discussing the content with them and hold each other accountable.

Now, my favorite part of the devotional was the last day. The final challenge is to write a love letter to your husband or if you aren’t married, to your future husband. Men need affirmation…we all do but men especially. We tend to tell them everything they do wrong and everything they need to work on, but we don’t tell them as often as we should how appreciated they are and how loved they are and how wonderful they are. In the letter, you can spill it all out and make it as creative as you want it to be, as romantic as you want it to be, as quirky as you want it to be….you get to make it your own. This is something I challenge everyone to do. If you are a man, write a letter to your wife or future wife. If you are a woman, write a letter to your husband or future husband. Valentine’s Day is coming up…I am sure that would be a great gift or addition to a gift for your significant other.

This devotional can be bought on Amazon as a paperback or you can purchase the Kindle version. I highly recommend it!

xoxo

Disa Badillo

Seasons of Life

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Happy New Year! I pray your 2014 is off to a fabulous start.

I wanted my first post of this new year to reflect my 2013 and what I’m expecting for 2014. Each year, there are 4 different seasons where the weather changes. We have summer, fall, winter, and spring. When the leaves begin to fall, we know fall is coming. When it begins to get darker earlier, we know winter is on the horizon. When the flowers begin to bloom, we smell spring blossoming. When the days are longer and the nights are shorter, we know summer is here.

ImageWell, just like there are earthly seasons, there are also spiritual seasons and seasons of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 talks about these seasons by stating, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

In life, we all go through different seasons. Some of them we wish would last longer than others and some we wish we never had to experience. Each season we go through provides us with wisdom and growth. Each season prepares us for the next season just like fall prepares us for winter and spring prepares us for summer. Its easy to want to about the process, but if we don’t go through the process, how can we expect to get to the promise?

In 2013, I experienced many seasons, some were great and I loved them. Some hurt and I couldn’t wait to be out of those seasons. What I’ve learned about life and God is to be content with where you are right now…not complacent but content. Being ungrateful and discontent and complaining every 5 seconds isn’t going to make it go away any faster…it might actually prolong the process. God knows where you need to be RIGHT NOW. He knows what you need to go through to get to the other side. The hardest season I faced in 2013 was my engaged season. I just wanted to be married already. I became envious of other people’s marriages. I wanted what they have. But I am not her and my husband isn’t him. If I kept comparing us to them, I would never be happy. I would never be satisfied because we aren’t them. If I focused on someone else’s marriage, I would miss the beauty of my own.

My husband and I took a marriage course prior to tying the knot and the class was amazing, but some aspects hurt. It forced me to look at me and make changes to me. God showed me where I fell short and He was chiseling away my selfish ways and desires. He showed me that if I didn’t go through this process my marriage would fail. That’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good. There were days I just wanted to quit. I just wanted to give up because I resisted the change. It didn’t feel good for God to point out my imperfections and chisel them away so I could look more like Christ. God kept telling me, “Don’t abort the process. Don’t abort the process. Look at how far you’ve come. I am your strength you can do this. Its raining right now but the sunshine and rainbows are on the horizon if you just don’t quit.”

ImageLet me tell you, I am so happy I didn’t quit. I am happy I didn’t abort the process. It was HARD! But it was WORTH IT! If I were to get married without God showing me my imperfections and changing me, we probably wouldn’t have made it very far…we probably wouldn’t have made it to the alter. Now, I have faith that we can and we will make it. And I am loving my newlywed season. Everyday isn’t sunshine because the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy my marriage, but now I am able to fight back. Now its not all about me. I am now apart of a team. If I would have aborted that process I went through during my engaged season, my selfish ways would run me. My emotions would control me. Now I can control them.

Its so easy to compare ourselves and our lives to others but as soon as we do that we begin to feel inadequate, jealous and discontent. Just because one thing worked for him/her/them doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone is called to do the same thing. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and on your portion and you will be content. Always strive for greater but be content with where you are now. How can God bless you any more if you aren’t grateful for what He’s given you thus far? No matter what season you’re in, there is purpose there. Don’t waste this season just because you’d rather be in a different season. God knows best. Trust Him. He loves you.

 

xoxo Disa Badillo