Tag Archives: mental-health

Doing It Anyway: Choosing Discipline Over Feelings

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Not long ago, my mom told me I should be a life coach or a motivational speaker.

I laughed. And immediately said, absolutely not.

Not because I don’t believe people can change, but because most people already know what they need to do. They just won’t do it. And that’s the part that would upset me. Not the lack of information, but the lack of obedience. Wasted potential. Wasted time. Their time and mine.

The truth is, information isn’t the problem. Obedience is.

Motivation Is a Feeling. Discipline Is a Decision.

Most people live their lives led by how they feel.

They don’t feel like working out, so they don’t.
They don’t feel like studying, so they don’t.
They don’t feel inspired, so they wait.

But feelings are unreliable. They shift with moods, seasons, stress, and circumstances. If you wait to feel ready, you’ll spend most of your life standing still.

Motivation is helpful. It gets you started. But discipline is what sustains you. Discipline is choosing to do what needs to be done even when the excitement is gone and the results aren’t immediate. I always say, “Motivation gets you there, but discipline KEEPS you there.”

Scripture reminds us that “the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance” (Proverbs 21:5). Diligence isn’t emotional. It’s intentional.

When Feelings Are in Charge, Destruction Follows

Feelings don’t just derail goals. They’ve ruined marriages, friendships, and careers.

People didn’t wake up planning to have an affair, betray a friend, or disrespect their leadership. They felt lonely. They felt unappreciated. They felt justified. And instead of exercising discipline, they gave their feelings the final say.

Feelings make great indicators, but terrible leaders.

Discipline creates guardrails. It pauses you when something feels good but is wrong. It pushes you forward when something feels hard but is necessary. The Bible speaks to this when it says, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control” (Proverbs 25:28).

Discipline isn’t punishment. It’s protection. Practicing discipline in one area will help you be disciplined in all areas of your life.

Discipline Is Self-Respect

At its core, discipline is about integrity, especially with yourself.

Every time you break a promise you made to yourself, you reinforce the belief that you can’t trust you. Every time you quit when things get uncomfortable, you quietly tell yourself that your word doesn’t matter.

But every time you show up anyway, tired, unmotivated, unsure, you rebuild trust with yourself. You strengthen the part of you that knows you can be relied on.

Scripture says, “Whoever is faithful in little is faithful also in much” (Luke 16:10). Discipline in the small, unseen moments prepares you for bigger responsibility, bigger blessings, and bigger breakthroughs.

Three Questions to Ask Yourself

Before you blame circumstances, lack of motivation, or timing, ask yourself:

  1. Aren’t you tired of breaking the promises you made to yourself?
  2. If you only did what you felt like doing, would the life you want ever exist?
  3. What would change if quitting was no longer an option, only adjusting?

These questions aren’t meant to shame you. They’re meant to wake you up.

Last year you said you were going to get in the best shape of your life.
Last year you said you were going back to school.
Last year you said you were going to change your eating habits to fix your health issues.
Last year you said you would drink less.
Last year you said you were going to improve your skillset to improve your career.
Last year you said you would let go of toxic habits and adjust to be a better person.

Let’s make last year the last year you quit on yourself. Let’s make this year, THE YEAR.

The year you do it anyway. The year you don’t give up. The year you make yourself proud of you. The year you start chasing after the life you desire with full force even on the hard days…ESPECIALLY on the hard days. You owe it to you.

As January Ends, Don’t Quit

As the month comes to a close, the motivation that carried you into the new year may be fading. You may already be tempted to quit. To tell yourself you’ll start again “later.” This is the moment discipline is required. This is the moment growth begins. Scripture tells us, “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

Don’t quit. Keep going. Yes, you will have bad days. Yes, it won’t always go how you expected. Yes, life will throw curveballs. But, do it anyway. Cry through it, pray through it, crawl through it, just don’t give up. Slow down if you need to, but don’t quit.

If you have already thrown in the towel and convinced yourself that where you’re at is as good as it will get, start again. Adjust if you need to. But don’t walk away. It’s not too late. As long as there is breath in your lungs, you can always start again.

I want to leave you with some affirmations for this season:

  • I am disciplined even when I don’t feel motivated.
  • I keep the promises I make to myself.
  • I do what is required, not just what is comfortable.
  • My feelings do not control me. I choose obedience, consistency, and growth.
  • I am becoming the person my future requires.

 

❤️ Disa B.

Death to Superwoman

Posted in Christian, Family, Relationships, Self Worth by

Let me start off by saying that perfection is an illusion, and there is no such thing as balance. Some seasons, you’ll neglect certain things and parts of your life, and that is ok.

For years, I believed I had to be everything to everyone. The strong Black woman. The wife who holds her husband down. The mother who never misses a beat. The daughter, the sister, the friend, the professional; all done with a smile, no cracks showing.

I wore the cape proudly. But the cape got heavy.

I told myself rest was a luxury I hadn’t earned. That pausing was a sign of weakness. That if I didn’t push through, somehow my family would fall apart. I thought strength meant never stopping.

But eventually, I stopped anyway, because I had no choice. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything in my life seemed perfect, but the weight of trying to be perfect and show up for everyone and everything, every time was crushing me.

The Myth I Inherited

Being a Black woman, you inherit stories. Stories of women who endured, who carried, who made a way out of no way. That legacy is powerful, but it can also be suffocating.

I thought strength meant silence. I thought motherhood meant martyrdom. I thought being a wife meant meeting every need before acknowledging my own.

The truth is, no one asked me to do that. Not my husband. Not my children. I put those expectations on myself.

The Superwoman Complex

Part of it was the Superwoman complex, that deep-rooted belief that I should be able to carry it all. That no matter how heavy life gets, I can handle it without breaking. That I can juggle every responsibility, every role, and never drop a ball.

But here’s the truth: I am not Superwoman.

I am not meant to carry everything. And even if I could, why should I? Carrying it all left me tired, anxious, and stretched so thin that there was no space left for me.

Letting go of the Superwoman complex has been an act of freedom. It has meant admitting that I am human, not a superhero. It has meant learning to ask for help. It has meant setting boundaries. And it has meant allowing myself to put some things down without guilt.

The Sofa That Saved Me

One of my favorite places in the world is my family room sofa. In the middle of the day, I’ll grab a blanket, curl up, and take a nap. For years, I would’ve felt guilty about that, like I was slacking off or wasting time.

Now, I love those naps.

I love that my children see me resting. I love that my daughter especially sees me prioritizing my body, my peace, my need for pause. Because I don’t want her to grow up thinking womanhood means constant exhaustion. I want her to know that she can be strong and still rest. That she can be a nurturer and still say, “I need time for me.”

It’s not just about what I’m teaching her, it’s also about what I’m unlearning for myself. Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is a sign that you need rest or that you need to delegate some things to other people.

The Real Me

I used to think my family needed Superwoman. The woman who could work all day, cook dinner, clean the house, do the homework, keep the smiles going, and never stop moving.

But my husband and my kids? They don’t need a superhero. They need me.

They need the me who laughs so hard my stomach hurts. The me who cries when I feel overwhelmed. The me who can admit, “I can’t do it all today.” The me who lets herself rest on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon, trusting that the world won’t collapse if I step away. The me that is present not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. The one who is truly enjoying each moment instead of thinking about and planning the next.

They don’t need my cape. They need my presence.

Death to Superwoman

So here I am, saying it plainly: death to Superwoman. I am not a myth. I am not an endless well of strength. I am not a machine. I am a woman. A wife. A mother. A daughter of God. And that is more than enough.

I am laying down the cape and choosing to live fully in my humanity with all its softness, all its imperfections, and all its beauty.

Superwoman is dead. Disa is reborn.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel alive and free.


❤️ Disa B.