Today I am 5 months pregnant. I reached the halfway, 20 week, mark on Friday (May 27th). So far, my pregnancy has been pretty smooth. My baby boy has treated his mama well minus a few aches and pains. But my journey to conceiving wasn’t as easy or simple. I am sure many moms or those currently trying to conceive can relate.

My husband and I wed on December 14, 2013. You can check out our wedding highlight video here. We knew we wanted to wait at least one year before having children, so in February of 2015 (a couple of months after our 1 year anniversary) I stopped taking my birth control to start the process. I knew it would take a few months for my body to regulate without the artificial hormones. I had been on birth control for years due to horrible cramps. But months later, my cycles were super irregular. I was concerned and worried. Did birth control damage me? Will I ever be able to conceive? These were the types of questions running through my mind.

During this time, I was constantly being asked when we were going to have kids, especially since we bought a house. Everyone was telling us we needed to hurry and fill it up with children. This only made it worse. Why was everyone so concerned about us starting a family. Then we found out my sister-in-law (I just call her my sister) was pregnant. I never admitted it, but I was envious. She hadn’t been trying. Why was she able to conceive and not me? The enemy was really toying with my mind.

After a while, I stopped caring. I told God, its cool. I don’t need a child right now anyway. I have weddings and events coming up. It will just slow me down and I don’t want to turn anyone away who wants to book me. But deep down, I was still worrying. I’m clearly a planner by nature, so I downloaded all these fertility tracking apps and became obsessed. Mind you my cycles were very irregular. It would be 28 days then 35 days then 42 days then 30 days. There was no way to track my ovulation.

Fast forward to September of 2015. I stated earlier that I am an event planner. I met a bride to be and we immediately clicked. Her wedding was scheduled for a Sunday in October of 2016. The day we were scheduled to meet so she could sign the contract, she called and told me she hired someone else. I was sad because I had really worked this client and I felt like our personalities really clicked (that is important when working closely with clients on the most important day of their lives). So, I talked to God about it. He said, “I blocked you from getting her business because you will be giving birth in October 2016.” Hold on now God, I will be doing what in October? How? I’m barely ovulating. But I believed Him because He has never let me down before. I told my husband what happened and he told me to stop stressing because God has us. A week or so later, a friend of mine, who happens to be a prophetess, text me saying she had a dream I was pregnant and that it will be happening soon. God was sending messages to me left and right, but deep down, I was still trying to control the situation.

December comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. January comes and goes. Negative pregnancy tests. February comes…I felt the Lord tell me to take a test. I’m like nah, I just took one like a week or so ago. It was negative. He was like take the test Disa (lol). This happened February 8th to be exact. I had one test left. I wasn’t planning on buying anymore because I had already wasted enough money. So, I took the test. I waited. I casually looked down anticipating only 1 line (negative test) but I saw 2 lines (positive). I was in utter shock. I couldn’t believe it. I ran into the room where my husband was and I couldn’t even say it. I just said, “look at this!” His response was, does this mean we’re pregnant?” I nodded and he just hugged me.

I went to the doctor a few days later to confirm it and to have her date the pregnancy. She said you are DEFINITELY pregnant. When she did the ultrasound, she dated my due date to be October 14, 2016. God told me in September of 2015 that I would be giving birth in October of 2016. God still works miracles. The journey was tough. I almost let my doubts interfere with God’s promises. My husband trusted God all along with no doubts, no fears…he just trusted. Even in my disbelief and even with my doubts, God still fulfilled His promise to me. My husband stayed faithful through it all and never doubted one time. I believe it’s because of his belief and faith that the Lord delivered.

If you are on your journey to conception, trust God. Delight in Him. Give Him your worries, anxieties, fears, and doubts. Whether it is His will for you to conceive or not, trust Him. He is working on your behalf.

When I think about the timing of so many things that have happened in my life…God’s timing is truly perfect! Certain may have not happened according to my plans but His plans are always best and always better than what I had in mind!

If you’re waiting on something and it not happening the way you want it to, REST. Trust God. His timing is perfect. His plans are to provide you a future & a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

xoxo

Disa B.